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Talk Roundup
5 December 2008

Boden

There were mixed reviews this week of festive days out at Lapland UK 2008. mamamea was not impressed with the advertised 'luxury dining' featuring 'jugs of local tap water': "Local tap water? What other kind is there?" But it wasn't long before the feisty DotFox led a counter-attack: "You have no idea what it costs to put a huge production on or even contemplate what it is like to bring a taste of Lapland to the UK. It's a £3 million production, it's much better than 2007 and in a different location...you thick pommy basher." mamamea sniffed a rat, recalling last year's company apologist, Dorothy Lane-Fox: "Do you think this is a cunning ruse to avoid detection? If so, then choosing a name that doesn't include 'dot', 'dorothy', 'fox', or 'LaplandUKIsTheBestAndAnyoneWhoThinksOtherwiseMustBeACommunistOrAnAustralian' might be advisable."

I just curtsied at two police officers. I could weep with shame, sobbed TheDevilWearsPrimark, "as I was coming out of a shop one gave me a lovely smile. I then did a bloody curtsey." "Please don't say you were wearing a petticoat and brandishing a parasol," cringed Wisp. "Your shame has brought joy to the masses," reassured a giggling chocolateorange, and zenandtheartofbaking decided we should all sign up to a new internet phenomenon - "flashmob curtseying".

BroccoliSpears discovered the notes she'd left her husband the first time he looked after their Precious First Born: "It includes such gems as 'she loves the trampoline but it is important she waits her turn'. How am I not buried under the patio?" BoffinMum confessed that she gives a "16-page handbook" to "each" au pair and FrannyandZooey admitted keeping similar records after being tortured with thoughts of what might become of her DS if anything happened to her: "Obviously the main thing would be to keep his NAP schedule the same."

Submit your entries to the 'How daft is your husband?' competition, encouraged TeeBee this week. Nailpolish was watching a car jumping over buses when her DH pondered: "When the car is in mid-air, does it go faster, I wonder, if the driver accelerates?" And GivePeasAChance was a tad embarrassed when her husband perused a restaurant menu and declared: "Soup du jour. Oh, I've had that once. It was really nice." While BalloonSlayer's DH recently 'lost' the baby's food in the microwave: "Apparently technology is at fault, not him. The turntable had revolved in a fiendish fashion."

Welcoming the season of Advent, Francophile NotanOtter was enjoying the Gallic sense of humour on December 1st when her son's French advent calendar was opened to reveal "a dog...pissing!" "Whenever I see a dog weeing in the street I will think it festive rather than unsanitary," mused TheGreatChristmasEvie and MadamAnt agreed: "Nothing says Joyeux Noel like a pissing dog."

MORNINGPAPER XXX

MUMSNET CHRISTMAS CARDS ON SALE NOW! The official Mumsnet Christmas Card 2008 is now on sale, with all the money raised going to Kids Company. It's £7.50 for 20 of these hilarious cards, so if you haven't got round to getting your cards here's your chance, and if you have, stockpile for next year.

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