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Talk Roundup
29 August 2008

Boden

Suggestions flooded in this week for the Mumsnet Little Book of Quotations. Samuel Johnson would obviously have to be there: "When a woman is tired of Mumsnet, she is tired of life" (GordonTheGopher), and Martin Luther King: "I have a laptop" (Slur). The Bard would account for several entries, including: "To BU, or not to BU, that is the question" (IAteDavinaForDinner) and "They sleep our chance to Mumsnet" (WhereTheWildThingsWere), while Sidge rewrote recent royal history with: "There were three of us in this marriage (me, him and Mumsnet) so it was a bit crowded."

I'm sure we've all toyed with the idea, but this week Inzidoodle propositioned the Tesco delivery man, "he was standing on my front door while I was carrying the shopping into the house. My dogs saw me and started to come down stairs. I said loudly 'Get up the stairs and straight to bed!' and walked back to the front door to find the man clearly embarrassed and flustered." After a hasty explanation she was advised not to do it to the older delivery men "as they may have a heart attack." QuintessentialShadow fantasised "imagine if you came back and found him on the way up the stairs!" but Inzidoodle started fretting that he didn't respond more positively; "I must have lost it."

Pregnant BlueJellie took a tour of her labour ward this week and came away worrying about her modesty: "All the pictures of the new mums after labour were naked?! I was hoping to give birth in a nighty." This provoked similar anxieties for Upwind: "I'm now most worried about them taking photos of me, naked, to show to pregnant women and their partners." "Do whatever you want at the time," reassured Littleducks, adding somewhat cautiously, "if you do wear something, black is best." ShowOfHands claimed she was normally very prudish but had to transfer to hospital from home and - despite the pleas of her midwife to put some knickers on - trudged to the ambulance completely starkers: "There were about 17 neighbours in their gardens. I can still remember the look on my elderly neighbour's face as I huffed naked, blood-stained, dripping wet and contracting across his petunias."

Am I being unreasonable to be angry that he's smoking eels, demanded Spidermama in this week's marital controversy, "There's a great deal to do. He's in the garden smoking eels." "Must be kind of tricky getting the Rizlas round them," reflected Derelicte, while ElfOnTheTopShelf sympathised: "It infuriates me when DH does stuff like this." "I have to say Mr Spider, you do liven up the place," admired Cappuccino, "other people's dh's are always on their computer games or visiting porn sites." But Spidermama wasn't placated: "He's in now ranting at me for being on MN when there's so much to do. I told him I'm on MN because you're smoking eels mate." Definitely a line for the Mumsnet Book of Quotations.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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