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Talk Roundup
15 August 2008

Boden

A reminder this week that toddlers are definitely at their most adorable when they are asleep, when MilfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo pondered, "My daughter has just gone to sleep with a soap dish. Is this normal behaviour for a 2.5yr old?" She was reassured that all was well by Lilliput, whose DS had retired to bed "with a small box containing dh's earplugs," and Whomovedmychocolate, whose DD was asleep with "a pet spoon." "My DS just went to bed with three pretend ants," admitted Lenny101, "I had to hold them while he scratched his nose." Treacletart's DS had bonded with an aubergine that he named "Mister Auber Genie" and took it to bed with him, "When he came in to our bed to wake us the next morning still holding it, I began to seriously rethink the Mousakka we'd planned." Meanwhile, poncetastic SanctimoniousTeeTotalPrig's DD was tucked up in bed, "with her Le Creuset saucepan."

This week we were discussing injuries caused by strange objects, which led to a confessional flurry of nork-related mishaps. Llareggub warned us of the perils of extended breastfeeding; "DS slammed my laptop shut and my nipple got trapped" and baker Lilymaid was making a tasty cake when "the electric whisks caught my rather baggy t-shirt, wrapping the material around them, then catching my norks." There were many tales of domestic disasters including Heated's admission, "I got my hand stuck in the drawer of washing machine and the fire brigade with full flashing lights came and rescued me" and Cocolepew's less impressive, "Last year I superglued a potato peeler to my hand." And pity poor Popsycal's sister, who got a child's toilet seat stuck on her head "when I persuaded her it would look like a lion's mane."

We were showing our Olympian knowledge this week in the debate "did we take our own horses or just borrow some over there? " "Horses can't go on aeroplanes, can they?" asked MarkStretch, but was reassured that indeed they could. "A trail of sugar lumps right into the cargo hold," reassured Suzywong, although a baffled MarkStretch was not convinced, "Surely they would fall over on take off?" "Of course horses go on planes," scoffed Quattrocento, adding that "Obviously you don't see many in passport control queues but that's because they travel separately." TheFifthApe remained perplexed, "Do they sit down or are they tied up all the way there? Surely their hooves will ache after a bit?" Savoycabbage was unimpressed by the unsporty ignorants, "You can't really think that all the riders go over there and just jump on any old nag and see what happens?" But FabioFridgeFluffFrenzy was still confused about the logistics, "When the plane crashes into the sea, how do the horses blow the whistles on their life jackets?"

Typo crisis of the week from Beccarollover, whose daughter "woke up with the most horrendous tangle in her hair"; despite the best efforts of her mum, the matted locks would not untangle, and Becca sought Mumsnet's counsel on methods of detangling, announcing "I have tried semen." And while we all recoiled with horror, poor Becca returned to her keyboard, "Really sorry about typo. Of course I have tried SERUM in her hair NOT SEMEN." Sighs of relief all round.

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