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Talk Roundup
18 April 2008

Boden

Acronym lovers note that 'GF' has returned to wreak havoc on the talkboards this week - but this time it's not Ms. Ford: a poorly Feverfish Cod has been diagnosed with Glandular Fever. "I feel like I've had a terrible night with a new baby and a bottle of vodka." Fellow GF-sufferer CountessDracula sympathised, recalling her own experience of a slow recovery, "No work, no housework, lots of rest, lots of fluids, no alcohol. I got so bored I took up smoking." Worryingly, Cod confessed that she has "given up on make-up" but there was evidence that some shallower instincts remain in tact:, "BUT DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?" she demanded of CD. Meanwhile the lovely FrannyandZooey offered her bestest new-age sympathy, "I am sending a magic potion from my glowy lady who cures everything."

I had my first single canoodle last night, snogged a man, but then all of a sudden he bit my neck, objected Fairyfly, who admits that her standards are fairly low; "he did buy me some chips and gravy though, so it's not all bad. I would have shagged him if he had added 20 Lambert and Butler and a bottle of Lambrini to his shopping list." "Was he wearing a cape?" pondered an optimistic FYIAD, but Fairyfly confessed that it was just one of many recent dating disasters, "I can see why all you married and taken ladies get jealous of the single life now," she muttered darkly, "it's non-stop horn."

What would you do if lovely woman at work brought in delicious home made cake for someone's birthday, and you had a piece and nearly choked on an inch long piece of plastic? was the moral dilemma of the week as experienced by a somewhat miffed DrNortherner, "it looks like a bit of plastic casing from a chewed Bic biro, but as it's been baked at 180 degrees it's rather hard to tell." "Maybe it was a false nail," chirped a cheery Oliveoil. Dynamicnanny sympathised with the cook, having herself been responsible for a recent culinary cock-up, "I made lemon drizzle cake for my mum's work, but hadn't mashed the potatoes well enough and there were big lumps of cold mashed potato in the cake."

Time for another 'embarrassing moments' thread; first up was Friendlyedjit, who earned her appellation when she put a pair of red knickers over her hair to apply make-up - and forgot to remove them. "I was in the pub later thinking I must be looking gorgeous as everyone was looking at me, until went into the loo and realised what I had done. My short sighted sister had thought I was wearing just a rather strange looking headband." Sibble experienced road rage when she couldn't park outside her son's pre-school, which adjoined a church, "somebody had parked a battered old stationwagon right outside with the boot open. So I tooted and waited and tooted again. Then the church doors opened and out they came with the casket. Cue very slow reversing out of the car park sitting as low as I could in the seat while shouting at DS1, 'Get down so they can't see us.'" Back in the land of the living, Paros queried her lover's (ahem) late-arrival during coitus by politely enquiring, "Are you coming yet?" only to be told, "No, I can't think of anyone." He obviously hadn't met Fairyfly.

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