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Talk Roundup sponsored by Simply
16 November 2007

Simply Washing - Great Cleaning, great value and environmentally responsible. The first UK manufactured laundry and dishwash detergents with the EU Eco-label. Your money back if you're not 100% satisfied. Order online and get 5 tubs for the price of 4 and FREE delivery. Use promotional code mumsnet1 for an extra 10% discount

Simply Housekeeping worries this week for cream-carpet owner JoFan, What's the polite way to say to visitors 'Get Your Shoes Off?' "I can't concentrate on chatting to people if they are wearing their shoes in my home." Expatinscotland was disapproving, "Are you one of those people who hosts a big party and then follows people around with coasters?" "I'm impressed that you have kids AND a carpet to be proud of" admired Hekate, "Visitors to my house wipe their feet on the way out." AitchTwoOh was offended by the suggestion that the host's carpets were more important than her right to be shod, "I am absolutely seething with anger about this. There I was pootling about on MN and now am 0 to 100 in ten seconds, absolutely LIVID about socks." JoFan reassured her that her warm hospitality would soon calm Aitch's sock-rage but Aitch disagreed, "despite the warming coffee and your underfloor heating, my feet would dangle in mid-air at the dining table and be caught in a draught. That gentle breeze would be, for you and your wankerdom, a clanging chime of doom."

How does one book a hotel room for the afternoon only, without embarrassment? asked an excited Gizmo, "We need to be home by six. Preferably looking vaguely respectable and not too raddled." PrettyCandles suggested hotels by airports that might be used for business meetings, "It's tricky to specify a room with a superking-size bed, though, for a 'business' meeting." Rebelmum1 foresaw other problems, "Won't they interrupt you with a coffee and a rich tea and have an OHP set up for you?" "Don't forget to fill out each other's evaluation forms," suggested a helpful Boco.

November Book Club - We're half way through November which means that if you haven't started reading Anne Enright's 'The Gathering' yet, you'd better get cracking, or you won't be able to join in the Book Club discussion at the end of the month. Get down to your local library or buy your copy here. Happy Reading!

NKF was reminiscing about the time before you had children and you thought it was going to be so easy, after chatting to a pregnant mum-to-be who was planning to take maternity leave and "use the time to learn Italian." Fruitful remembered her own innocent pre-child reasoning, "Babies sleep 16 hours a day don't they? Leaving 8 when they are awake. So that's the same as a normal working day." Many Mumsnetters confessed to variations of NKF's fantasy of "reading while baby kicked its legs on a tartan rug under the apple tree" including TheDuchessOfNorksBride: "I know everyone tells you your life will change forever when you have a baby, but I thought they meant I wouldn't be able to get pissed and miss the last train home. I didn't realise it meant that I wouldn't go to the bathroom by myself for the next 10 years." Whomovedmychocolate though, has more than come to terms with motherhood, "I was going to have a boob job if my boobs sagged post partum. Now I just roll them up, stick a pin in them to keep them in place and use them as dribble bibs when I fall asleep at 3pm."

Yeast extracts were causing a marital Marmite schism for Slubberdegullion this week, after a major domestic dispute over what percentage of the population had tried the controversial spread, "DH claimed that I was ridiculous for thinking that everyone in this country has tasted Marmite. If someone comes on here and truthfully, truthfully swears they have never even tasted Marmite, I'll eat a tablespoon of it neat." Unfortunately she cross-posted with Hunkermunker's confession, "I haven't tasted Marmite. I have smelt it. And that was enough." "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" screamed a stressed Slubberdegullion who was then forced to photograph "The first ever live Mumsnet tablespoon of neat Marmite punishment eating."

MORNINGPAPER XXX

EARTH - Five years in the making, EARTH follows the influence of the sun on life on the planet and is a great movie ideal for school-age children upwards. EARTH is released in London cinemas on the 16th November. Visit the official website at www.loveearth.com.