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We thought you might like to sample Mumsnet's weekly Talk round up from our very own Morningpaper (Yes she of "rockets to Lebanon" fame). So here it is - a round up of the week's most weird and wonderful moments on Mumsnet Talk. If you like it sign up for it here and we'll add you to the weekly mailing list.

Talk Roundup
4 May 2007

We've just introduced Mumsnet Local: a guide to all the best stuff for parents and kids in the UK, broken down by geographic area. It is still very much in its infancy, so will you please, please take a look and fill it up with lots of great listings in your area and beyond or it will be rubbish? Thanks so much, MN Towers.

A bit of a kerfuffle this week after ConnieDescending declared, "MN is a load of shit and all the posters are full of it. What’s so great about Mumsnet? A topic such as weaning invokes 500 posts of pure drivel and arguments. Mumsnet is shit." A fair few posters begged to differ but ConnieDescending remained unmoved, "Typical responses - all trying to outdo each other with your wit." Tutter was confused, "Is it wit or shit?" Lucykate looked at the broader picture, "There is a brilliant potential thread juxtaposition in Active Conversations: ‘Site stuff - MN is a load of shit and all the posters are full of it’ and ‘Gardening club - is anyone else fascinated by compost and manure?’" while wise, old bird MartianBishop counselled, "If you want to see nasty you should see the Times Education Boards."

There was much bookish debate about the parenting manual "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" which has been Porcupine’s choice of bedtime reading of late. NadineBaggott was not impressed with the advice to listen better and name her children’s feelings, "'Give their feelings a name' - Bleurgh! Why can't you just listen to them and then tell them to do as they're told?" But RubyRioja quickly honed in on the crux of the message, "So the correct response to 'I'm tired' is not, 'Well stay in bed when I put you there then. I'm knackered because I put you to bed 27 times last night. AND I am near my overdraft limit and your Dad wants to try Viagra - try that for making you tired'?" Krabbiepatty regretted giving the manual to her partner, who for weeks went around saying things like: "‘Yes I understand that you are feeling frustrated because I am still doing no housework.’ ‘Yes, it must be very disappointing for you that I have left my dirty dishes in the living room again’. I had to bin the book." Not so Fillyjonk, though, who is quite a fan, "There is one often-missed plus point to this book; the techniques are quite useful if you want to pretend to care but don't really. You can be on an "Ahh, I see" loop." So if you’d like to read Heat magazine and Appear To Listen While Your Kids Talk, pick up a copy for yourself here.

Squonk wanted to know the Things you want to say to your partner/husband/wife but don't because you know it will cause an argument and it's not worth it and started by releasing her own demons, "I very much doubt that the flat-pack people have actually drilled the holes in the wrong place, dear." "When I am getting dressed and at the putting on underwear stage, that does not mean I want sex," suggested Jomist. And Geekgrrl is not quite as Geeky as her hubby thinks, "Please don't spend an hour every night telling me what work you've done that day. It bores me to tears. You're a software developer, not an archaeologist or an astronaut, so it's really not very interesting."

And finally, it’s been another busy week for the Mumsnet Food Police after boxes of Lunchables were discovered under the desks of the Advertising Department at Mumsnet Towers. "Y'know I had a really good look at those Lunchable things advertised incessantly on MN and guess what?" asked Moondog "They look about a million times worse than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. They are absolute SHIT I tell you." Boco protested "But the pseudomeat is so pretty and luminous pink! And the processed cheese keeps you buzzing all through the day!" Oliveoil cautioned against the perils of higher Food Standards, "My daughter used to have Rubbish Ham. She now only eats Nigella Coca Cola ham made with ickle pigs from our local farm. So every sodding Sunday I am boiling away a chuck of pig. So be warned. Do not raise the Taste Bud Bar." You have been warned.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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