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Talk Roundup
30 March 2007

We've just introduced Mumsnet Local: a guide to all the best stuff for parents and kids in the UK, broken down by geographic area. It is still very much in its infancy, so will you please, please take a look and fill it up with lots of great listings in your area and beyond or it will be rubbish? Thanks so much, MN Towers.

Controversy of the week was Greenspudgate precipitated by Dinosaur's question, "Potatoes from veg box feel spongy and are green underneath the skin - are they edible??" There were shouts of horror and warnings of imminent solamine poisoning if the killer spuds were not immediately despatched to the compost bin, although others approved of MrsSpoon's approach, "I just cut off the green bits and sprouting bits and have never died yet." Dinosaur said that she wouldn't mind poisoning DH anyway, but confessed, "DH has just been in the pub for two hours, and I've had two glasses of wine at home, so if we do have stomach ache, it may not be all the fault of the green potatoes." She later reported that her DH "came home and tripped coming up the stairs." His stomach obviously coped with her spuds better than the beer. Maybe in future we should all take MamaG's advice, "You wouldn't have this problem if you just bought Smash."

What do you think of your voice/the way you speak when you hear yourself recorded? asked TinyGang who realised that she sounds like a five year old. IdrisTheDragon is embarrassed that she sounds like the Queen, but this left Tinygang rather deflated, "I'd rather sound like Her Majesty than Lola." Tweetyfish owned up to a certain amount of irritation when listening to her messages to her DH on the answerphone, "I'm thinking 'Who's this calling my husband?'" Southeastastra's DP sounds like the not very manly David Beckham; "All squeaky." By contrast, HoppyDaddy doesn't like his deep Barry Whitesque tones, "I think it sounds flat, like a goose farting in the fog."

Is it OK to do 'it' with a baby in the room? asked 12yeargap, "I honestly don't know if this is completely normal, or utterly-depraved-call-social-services behaviour." Yes, it's fine, reassured Foxybrown, "Obviously not with one in the bed - they tend to bounce off and wake up." Minkybiscuit disagreed, "No way. I would just imagine my mum and dad doing it with me present! (Why did I have to give myself that mental picture?)" Sweetkitty's health-and-safety conscious friend, "used to do it doggy style so she could keep an eye on her son at the same time." Sweetkitty for her part was squeamish about doing the business in front of her cat, "we used to turn the chair around to face the wall so he couldn't watch us."

Hopefully such parental acrobatics won't lead to the question "Mum, do you know about pornographics?", as Wallace was asked by her five-year-old who had been playing with a rather worldly friend. "Inwardly seething ... I calmly replied, 'Yes, I do, can you tell me about it?' 'Well,' she said, 'They are sort of round and bumpy with little seeds in them.' 'Oh! Pomegranates!'" exclaimed a relieved Wallace.

This week's challenge was to fill in the blanks: I can't believe I've got to the age of [...] and don't own a [...] and Tutter started us off with "36, gravy boat". Mumblechum and Yeahinaminute have both reached the age of 44 with differing concerns –Mumblechum doesn't own a teapot and Yeahinaminute doesn't own a vibrator. Several Mumsnetters proudly boasted that they didn't have a grey hair, or fillings. DaffodilsforeasterFlower3554 is 53 and has never owned nor worn a hat. Anchovy is 42 and taunted us all with her lack of stretchmarks. RanToTheHills doesn't own "fillings/car/vibrator" – thank goodness she can spend her evenings on Mumsnet!

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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