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Talk Roundup
16 March 2007

We've just introduced Mumsnet Local: a guide to all the best stuff for parents and kids in the UK, broken down by geographic area. It is still very much in its infancy, so will you please, please take a look and fill it up with lots of great listings in your area and beyond or it will be rubbish? Thanks so much, MN Towers.

We were not short of Classic mother in law quotes this week. As newly-wed QueenofTarts posed for her wedding pics, her MIL politely asked if she could step to the side so they could have a "family picture". Nogoes MIL discouraged her daughter's Annabel Karmel tendencies with the advice, "You really ought to start giving DS some jars of food rather than that homecooked food. Cow & Gate have been making food longer than you have." GameGirly for her part has proven to be a humiliation to her MIL, "It's very embarrassing at the golf club, I'm the only one whose daughter-in-law works."

I imagine that there would be much tutting from MILs at Innocent's (course she is) exploration into the seedy underworld of bedroom banter on the thread Talking dirty - what do you say? MascaraOHara confessed "I just wrote a paragraph but then deleted it as far too filthy for MN... I would just say something like you wanna suck his cock but more graphically." "How much more graphic do you want, Pictionary?" asked a puzzled WillyWonka. Foulmouth69 cautioned against experimenting with recording equipment, "I actually videoed myself playing with a rabbit in the bath one day. I made all the right noises, looked at the camera lots of time etc ... then when I went to watch it back I realised I had it at the wrong angle and had been recording the tile above my head." Luckily a man was on hand in the shape of SpringisherePann but in truth he was less than impressed by the quality of advice on offer, "What a bunch of coy, girlie numpties ... the poster asks for a bit of advice and you lot suddenly raise your fans and giggly nervously to each other."

There were lots of lovely threads this week the amusing stuff that comes forth from the mouths of our babes, including a story from Miaou, who wrote, I have just had the following conversation with ds (19 months). Miaou discovered her little boy holding a toy sheep in each hand ("horse!") After many failed attempts to learn sheep, ("Eeep", "Peep", "Peesh") he sighed and confidently declared "Horse!" once more. Cocobabe's dd solemnly whispered that she had made a mother's day gift of a candle at nursery. "I asked her why she whispered to me when there was no one else in the room - she said 'It's a secret!'" And Sweetkitty's DD1 unfortunately spotted her attempt at discreet tampon-changing and announced to her sister-in-law, "Mummy put a ladybird up her bum!"

My car broke down on the motorway today. I was bursting for the loo, it was freezing and I had to wait for the AA man said AitchYouBerk, in an attempt to justify the fact that she resorted to weeing in a nappy. "I've got to say that I don't know why everyone's so anti-babywipes. I've never been fresher!" Badelaide too confessed to succumbing, when pregnant, to emergency nappy use , "in a photo booth in Somerfield supermarket." Where else? There followed much debate about whether a disposable nappy could successfully handle the contents of an adult bladder, until, in the interests of scientific advancement, FrannyandZooey decided to undertake experiment Piss On Your Sofa for the amusement of her internet friends. Littlelapin wondered how it came to this, "I can't BELIEVE I am refreshing a webpage, waiting for a grown woman to wazz on her sofa in a nappy!" FrannyandZooey pointed out that other Mumsnetters were having a heated debate started by TheArmadillo asking, "Can anyone read late medieval English?" I think that sums up our Mumsnet week very nicely!

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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