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Talk Roundup
7 Feb 07

What stupid things did you do when you were little? asked Jampot who, aged ten, confessed to a priest that she'd committed adultery.  Worse still was the story of TheArmadillo's DP and the satsuma: "There was no bin... so he shoved all the peel up his nose (well he didn't want to make a mess). It was so tightly compacted he had to be taken to the hospital." Another embarrassing hospital admission came from five year-old Northstar, who gazed on in admiration when, "a boy said, 'Look how high I can throw this brick'- while all the more streetwise kids ran, the brick landed on my head obviously, and I had to go to A&E."

Fighting in the aisle again this week over "Bloody disableds taking all the spaces" (Jimjams2) in the thread Am I being unreasonable to expect people who use parent & baby car parking spaces to have children with them?  The raging Squonk said her DP has now banned her from actually following people around the supermarket and "telling everyone that they took the last parent and child space when they don't have any children."  Dungbeetle spoke for the defence, "What about if their car is too big for regular sized spaces?" "If it were up to me," sniffed MissGolightly, "their car would be crushed until it DID fit into a regular sized space."  IntergalacticWalrus has the solution that many of us favour: evening shopping.  "It's the only time I get away from my brats.  It's deep joy. And I don't have to get het up over parking spaces."

Now obviously, us MNers are an eminently sensible bunch, but sadly our partners are not always quite as bright.  In the thread Funny Things our DP's Say/Do CoozerP's DP, suffered a severe case of literary confusion "He was watching a thing on TV about Feng Shui. When I asked if he knew what it was, he said, 'Of course I do, she wrote that Wild Swans book.'"  Dyzzidi took the risk of allowing her DP to get the baby ready for the day, laying out all the clothes he would need so he didn't totally bugger it up.  Sadly this was not fool-proof, because after taking his DD out shopping, "He picked her up and she was soaking wet.  The bloody idiot had forgotten to put a nappy on her! When I laughed at him he got all defensive and said 'Did you lay me one out?'"  Meantime, in the kitchen during the preparation for their summer party, Bogie recalled how she passed her DP a melon and a melon baller and said 'Ball the melon please Russ'. I came back into the kitchen and no lie he was BOILING the melon in a pan. I said 'What the f**k are you doing to the melon?' The inevitable answer: 'Boiling it like you told me to.'"

After such brazen sniggering at our lovely boys,  the final word must go to UnquietDad, who has been trying out the new (and remarkably popular) "Am I being unreasonable?" talkboard. I don't wish to commit acts of disloyalty against the state, he wrote, "So am I being untreasonable?"  Very good, dear.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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