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Mumsnet Talk Round-Up
14 December 2006

This week's award for Too Much Information was snapped up by the Do Indians really have smaller willies? thread. It seems that researchers involved in a two-year study have concluded that smaller condoms should be made available to Indian men but obviously they could have saved themselves a lot of money and effort if they had just asked on Mumsnet first; where they could have picked the brains of the likes of "I've had a bit of just about everything..." NappiesGalooooooooooooria. Or IShagAnIndian, who reminded us "they did invent the kama sutra", which tells in some detail about the varying sizes of a man's 'lingham' and a woman's 'yoni.' "It can actually be quite unpleasant, even painful if you have a small 'yoni', and your partner has a large 'lingham'" mused DesperatelyUpset. There speaks the voice of bitter experience.

Barbie, Princesses etc - harmless or perpetuating female stereotypes? asked WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad, whose three year-old daughter has aspirations of growing up to be "1) a princess 2) a fairy or 3) Barbie." Stockingsofdinosaurs was less worried about it: "My dd wants to be a duck and an elephant (at the same time) when she grows up... I think Barbie probably earns more." Meanwhile Bakedpotato told of her failure to inject some corrective feminist analysis into her daughter. "I said, 'Barbie doesn't look like real people. I wouldn't want you to grow up wanting to look like that.' DD looked at me, appalled, and said sternly, 'It's not very nice to say things about the way people look.'"

Do you clean your husband's shoes for him? asked handlemecarefully, whose DH was whining that she cleaned the children's shoes but not his. This was a cause of general merriment. "I would be failing in my duties as a wife and a mother if I didn't! After all, he provides for us, it is my job to look after him as I would a pathetically helpless child!" said Colditz. "And I iron his pants too!" said motherinfurrierfestivefrock, "And offer nightly sex in skimpy babydoll nightie! Honestly, HMC, it's women like you that give wives a bad name." "I lick dh's shoes clean every Sunday...." reported ggirl. Spare a thought for Pruni, who by comparison is far too busy: "I don't have time to clean my husband's shoes, what with all the blowjobs I have to give him" she complained.

And while you're down there… You know that advert for the durex vibrating ring all wrapped up as though its a proposal, posted Twiglett "Is it just me who thinks the male actor is a sleazy, slimy, disgusting piece of winking, gurning, scratchy-chin turn-off-edness that makes me want to shout "Don't do it .. don't shag him .. he's horrible" at the screen?" "Whatever you do don't buy one," advised LovelyKay, 'they're actively unpleasant to use (even without having an image of that gurning fool pop into your mind at a crucial moment...) V disappointed we were, we went all the way to Asda to get one too."

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