Women! Know Your Limits! I put unleaded in a diesel car tonight....anyone know how much my f*ckwittery will cost us? wrote a worried Sophable, who was allowed too close to her DH's company car. There followed some girl-talk about siphoning off fuel: "Suck until you feel the petrol in your mouth," advised Fattymamma helpfully, which seemed like a plan until Tinker pointed out that petrol is carcinogenic. "Car ruined and now cancer. My cup runneth over" sighed Sophable, before parting with her £180 and thankfully leaving the obviously manly work of car restoration to the AA.

Meanwhile another womanly crisis was occurring in an M&S somewhere in Britain when an unsuspecting caretaker refused a seven-month-pregnant Mumsnetter entry to the toilets. Name changer, IPDaily, took matters in hand: "I wet myself in front of all the other ladies who were tutting at having to wait" she confessed in the aptly-named thread I wet my knickers in M&S on purpose. Cappucino was horrified; "You weed on the floor? Are you three? You had a row with someone and you weed to end it?" "I definitely would have cried first." comments Carmenere.

In a similar vein, Mumatuks has got a Pistmas tree and Pistmas decorations, according to her Children's mispronunciation of Christmas related things. GooseyLoosey's three year old seems to have become rather confused by celebrations of Diwali and "recently asked if he could have a Hindu for Christmas." Pepperpot's son is eagerly anticipating Farmer Titmas whilst RubberDuck's thinks that Santa is pulled by a team of radios, although her other son is quite sure that they are radiators. But most embarrassing is Stockingsofdinosaurs' nephew's hopes of a visit from Farmer Jizmas.

Sometimes it's just too hard to stop being a mum, even during rush-hour on the underground. Can I judge the girl who sat next to me on the Tube the other morning, please? asks Hunkermunker, "She was munching v. stinky Doritos and drinking Ribena." CountessDracula advises her to be a little more gentle and kind but HunkerMunker protested, "I was gentle and kind. I didn't grab them out of her hand and sneer in her face about the importance of a proper oat-based breakfast."

So anyone want to be in the Mumsnet band? asked Sophable. There followed various suggestions of a name for the virtual band, but far and away the most popular choice was The Mooncups. So if you live in South West London and fulfil her criteria of being "a mum and foxy," then shake your tambourine in her direction. Just don't, whatever you do, let her fill up the tour bus.

MORNINGPAPER XXX