Five quotes of the week to make you smile

 It's the world's first International Happiness Day, so to help bring a smile to your face, we've picked five of our favourite snort-inducing quotes of the week, which you can see every week in Parenting News

And if you fancy a bit more context, just click on the Mumsnet username to take you through to the thread. 

A joint contender for most pretentious thing imaginable plus best excuse ever? Feathersandbows offers this gem from her workplace: "So sorry I am late, my horse fell into my swimming pool."

Parsnipcake on lies things we believed when we were younger: "My mum told me that dwarves lived in cashpoint machines and gave the money out through the slot. I believed this until I was in my 20s, when it dawned on me this would be cruel. I always used to shout 'thank you' through the slot."

PomBearWithAnOFRS responded to Psammead's plea for MN help to get her labour started: "Get in the bath, hang one leg over the side and shout 'Swim Towards the Light'."

Middleagedspread has some cunning advice on how to avoid being dragged into the dark caverns of Hollister. "Once took a head torch and put it on in the shop. DS never forgiven me, never been back with me either. Result."

3teenhell on losing her son in the park, having dyed her hair from blonde to brown the previous evening: "Someone found him and when asked what I looked like, he said, 'I don't know. She changes at night'."

Last updated: 20-Mar-2013 at 11:17 AM