World Cup 2010 survival guide
Over the past month, 32 nations have battled it out under the South African sun for sporting glory (and to avoid being excoriated in the tabloid press back home). Now we're in the final leg with Uruguay and Germany battling over third place while Spain and Holland take to the Ellis Park Stadium in Johannesburg this Sunday to decide who lifts the trophy for this year's tournament.
If you'd prefer to go to your special place and do your best to pretend that it's not happening at all, then we have an alternative TV guide because, yes, there will be non football-related programmes on.
But if you love football or are just prepared to bow to the inevitable, we harnessed the collective Mumsnet wisdom to help you bluff your way through the last matches and feed the sofa-bound hordes.
From Custardo's inspired use of a shoe-shopping analogy to explain the offside rule to key phrases with which to hold your own in any World Cup debate, Mumsnetters have played a blinder with a host of football rules, facts and blather to illuminate the often-impenetrable aspects of the beautiful game.
Find out the times of the final two matches as well as information on which TV channel is showing what match.
In the dying days of World Cup 2010, you can still avoid the remaining matches with our guide to the best alternative TV programmes.
A selection of the best Mumsnetter football match recipes cunningly created to go from plate to mouth with the least amount of hand-eye coordination so nobody in the family misses a moment of the match.
Incensed by your sweepstake team crashing out of the tournament? Sadly resigned to how the England team fared? Bored beyond belief or just wondering what on earth is going on? Head for our special World Cup forum on Talk.