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Talk Round-up

25 January 2013 

Ladies and gentlemen of Mumsnet, ICBINEG has a crisis. Gather round…

"Please help me find the invisible duck before I go mad," she begged this week. "Every night for the last two weeks my DD (19mo) has been raging because I can't see an apparently invisible duck. She stands next to the head board of the bed (shown here) and makes all manner of quacking noises and signs duck. I should explain that she doesn't do much talking, only animal noises and signing so far.

Mr Scribbles

"If I say, 'Is there a duck?' she points to the main crossover point in the centre. If I say, 'Is the duck hiding?' she signs hiding and looks all expectant. I have not yet found anything to say after this point that does not result in a screaming fit of rage. Please help me find the duck!"

And of course, this being Mumsnet, where loads of parents are only too happy to ignore domestic drudgery, paid employment (and even, gasp, their partners and children) in order to help a fellow, we did. Let's put that link up again. Join in. Say what you see...

"I see two ostriches!" RubyGates

"I can sort of see two duck heads facing in opposite directions." Littleduckie (who should know)

"Two ducks. They are each kissing the pillows. Your DD is right!" HenriettaChicken (likewise)

So this is all going well, yes? The eagle-eyed duck-hunters are out in force. (Admit it, you can't see anything.)

In among all the frantic descriptions and directions ("two dachshunds, butt to butt", "ask her where the eyes are", "feed the duck" etc), the one thing that did become clear was that no one person had a farking clue what the others were talking about. Least of all ICBINEG, whose sanity was by this point under some considerable strain.

There was nothing for it, someone had to get the felt pens out, and start drawing ducks. And then someone else, and then, and then etc etc etc... settle back, and enjoy the gallery of waterfowl, courtesy of MrsReiver.

<theme from Take Hart> Doo, doodle-dee doo, doodle-dee doo, de doo. A compilation for ICBIN

Can you tell what it is yet?

"Okay guys... big news here! The mystery is solved!" reported a thrilled ICBINEG. "The duck is not hiding... the duck is... upside down!"

WHAAA?!

"In the end I don't think anyone quite found the same duck as DD. I think the main crossover is the tip of the duck's tail. The visible region of the oval shape is the duck's tail and back and, of course, the rest (obscured by pillow/mattress) is under water... it certainly explained why the duck was definitely hungry (coz going upside down is how ducks eat ya know) and why we couldn't feed it (we have a strict duck-led weaning policy apparently).

"DH has admitted that about two months ago they sang 'All the little ducks go upside down' at the end of soft play... no doubt this has triggered the whole palaver. I am one part, 'Oh that's so cute, what a memory she has' and nine parts, 'And you are just remembering this now DH? Now, after two weeks of yelling?!?!?'"

Just... quackers.

"What do I need to know about a Big Shit?" asked BlottedcopybookSat, evidently under the impression she was about to talk about some crafty bunkum or other. "Am I right in thinking - dies cut out shapes, folders emboss patterns onto card? Where is good to buy dies and folders? And which dies do you recommend?" she wittered.

"Epic title fail?" observed Yddraigoldragon.

ShatnersBassoon was "so disappointed. I know all about big shits".

"Big SHOT. Big SHOT. Shot shot shot," exclaimed a 'horrified and embarrassed' Blotted.

"You may need a wet wipe," advised PenisColada

(If you want to keep up with the latest ducking news, please like us on FB and follow us on Twitter.) 

AITCH

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