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16 November 2012
"I managed to get stuck trying a dress on today," confessed MikeLitoris, miserably. "It was halfway off my head and I could not move. Luckily, I managed to wriggle out. WTF would I have done if I was actually stuck? I only had a pair of questionable knickers on."
MASSIVE empathy was forthcoming from IvorHughJanusAndABulgingSack (and not just because between them they have two of the headiest nicknames on Mumsnet). She also found herself trapped in a frock that morning. "I glimpsed myself in the mirror as I was wrestling with it and to my shock I saw what appeared to be a large Richmond sausage wearing a dress around its head."
"Apparently I lack 'gravitas'?" growled CanAnybodyMakeSenseofThis, fresh from her work appraisal. "How do I get some?"
"I think they sell it in IKEA," suggested PelvicFloorClenchReminder, brightly.
ExitPursuedByABrrrrrr has a similar problem. "I went on a Gravitas training course and didn't come away with any. I went out last night and behaved outrageously. My Gravitas would have stopped me doing that, wouldn't it?"
Noviceoftheday had a serious point to make, explaining that "this word is rightly banned from feedback in my workplace". Why? Sexism, of course, yer gravitas is something the chaps have in spades. "Exactly," agreed hermioneweasley, "lacking gravitas usually translates as not being a middle-aged man." To the barriers, sisters!
Hold your fire... welovecouscous has it in abundance, apparently. What's she like? "Glasses, tall, serious." That's quite the pen portrait. "So based on me," she intoned, "look serious, wear specs, be taller."
And yes, it is possible to have gravitas with big t*ts, confirms 3b1g. "Just rebrand them as a bosom." <hoiks>
Squeakytoy's been thinking. "If Mumsnet did Xmas ads... Mother would be sat at the PC wearing her best Boden PJs, sipping a glass of mulled wine... while her DH got in from work, put his pinny on, and got on with basting the organic free-range turkey. Children would be tucked up safely in bed, after leaving their carrot sticks and hummus dip out for Rudolph."
It's a lovely picture, isn't it? Time for some ultra-violence, then. Here's HoneyDragon and InSPsFanjoMooneHearsYouScream, who think, "she would briefly pop next door to Morrisons Mum to kick her in for being such a vicious martyr" and "then pop over to the Asda ad and tell the husband to move so that the mother doesn't have to sit on the pouffe". Fairylea has high hopes that she "leaves the bast*rd on Boxing Day".
"...and Chaos would reign, MaryZ would moan it's only November and some of us would just raise a glass ," cheered flyoverthegoldenhill.
SIX WEEKS, PEOPLE, SIX WEEKS.
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