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5 October 2012
TotallyKerplunked was, by her own admission, 'lubricated with alcohol' and had a question that needed answering, badly. (Or answering badly, whichever is the more likely on MN.)
"Am I the only one who finds droopy boobs useful?" she enquired. And no, it's not a joke thread - think of this more as a product recommendation. "I was having a chat with some women from my baby group and we were discussing body changes post-pregnancy, mostly lamenting stretch marks, flabby bellies etc, when I piped up with how useful I find droopy boobs - especially in the shower for holding razors/toothbrushes, or as a useful pocket for carrying my phone or MP3 player when naked. Surely there must be other people who don't mind their bodies changing and find otherwise useless body parts useful?"
Surely? On Mumsnet? You betcha.
"Oh yes," agreed frootshoots. "I'm often seen wandering around town with my library books wedged between my stomach rolls, and as for my double chin - hellooo! Perfect for stashing my mid-morning snack." PomBearWithAnOFRS can hide her purse under her norks - it's not even a post-partum-acquired talent! "I've been able to stash stuff in there for years. In my prime I could get 40 ciggies, a lighter, purse, keys, and a pint in there, and everything except the pint would stay put when I took my clothes off." Well, everyone needs a party trick.
Talking of which... "I use mine to warm up my hands after searching through my (weirdly deep and disorganised) chest freezer," AllYoursBabooshka admitted. "I just tuck them under and sigh." Lovely.
COCKadoodledooo, a practical girl, announced: "I can hold a rolling pin under mine <proud>." A boast we very much doubt that even Saint Mary of Berry could make.
"Did anyone else get their photo taken in Selfridges, holding a large monkey circa 1973?" asked SirSugar. SUCH an obvious question. "I fished out an old photo of me and I was holding a rather large real monkey and it was dated on the back 1973 - I was six years old. This would never get past health & safety now," she said, glumly.
Anyway, read the thread, it turns out a surprising amount of people had either been photographed with, owned, or kissed boys who owned, exotic pets in the seventies. "I have one of me holding a tiger cub somewhere. Can't see that happening now, either," mourned SarahStratton. "This generation misses out on so much."
"Has your DH tried this yet?" asked kim147, referring, of course, to Cereal For Men. 'A chunky mix of oat clusters and flakes with whole nuts and dried fruit, and dark chocolate with Guarana', and linking to a preposterously gender-specific supermarket muesli.
Mrsjay was dubious. "I'm assuming this is for the metrosexual man. My DH is more of a Frosties-then-a-bacon-buttie man."
"I'm only interested if it can endeavour to put the milk bottle back in the fridge, and put itself back in the cupboard," muttered LaQueen.
InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers could see an upside, however. "Apparently, it has huge nuts."
COULD YOU LIVE ON £85 A WEEK? 53 Mumsnetters took up the challenge set by Unum, trying to survive on the equivalent of Statutory Sick Pay for a week. How did it change their attitude to their finances? See how they got on.