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Talk Round-up

31 August 2012   

And now, ladeez and gennilmen... please take your seats and switch off your mobile phones... "the Norty Puddlehumpers present.... MUMSNET - THE MUSICAL!"

Seriously? Seriously.

It's an ensemble piece, directed by EmpressOfTheSevenFlames. Here she goes...
 
"<looks down line of dancers on stage. Makes sure Pombears are ready to throw to audience members. Starts can-can music>

Opener: WE KICK ARSE! (by Empress)

We are a nest of vipers / We eat biscuits and we swear / We might flame your arse on AIBU / But if you need us we'll be there

We've got our oh f*** rucksacks / We've got our MN scarves / We're not just yummy mummies / We're MUMSNETTERS! We kick arse!"

UOL

BRAVO! And look, here comes BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff "<high kicking across stage>".

"Nice costumes," commented an impressed MardyBra, "but you need to wax a little better before you do those high kicks, Brian."

Empress: "And now the merry moderators of MNHQ with their rendition of THE TROLL BLOCK TANGO. (Unashamedly stolen from Cell Block Tango, Chicago The musical)

<All> Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel! / Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel! / Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel!

They had it coming. They had it coming, they only had themselves to blame. If you'd have been there, if you had read it, you would have done the same.

Helen: 'So one day I'm sitting in front of my computer, and reports start coming in on this one poster. So I check it out and one of the other posters keeps agreeing with what the reported poster kept saying. / She was crazy! Agreeing with everything the OP said. So I knew it had to be a sock puppet. / Banned!'

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

Olivia: 'I loved that poster, I really did. But one day, she just started attacking people left and right. I had no choice but to ban her from the site. / But some people just don't go away…

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

Justine: 'You know how some people get mentioned on Mumsnet and it just scares you to death? SWMNBN was one of those. / We thought we had it covered, and everyone knew she was not a person to be named. / But there she was...named. / I had to ban the poster. What choice did I have?'

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!"

ROARROARROARROARROARROAR

Hang on, is Empress saying something? Can't quite make it out...

"<hushed voice> Do you think we might even get reviewed in Talk Round-up?"

BonkeyMollocks "<pulls out secret stash of gin. Swigs>"

We know the feeling, Bonkey... we know the feeling.  

And later, KeemaNaanAndCurryOn has turned Mumsnet from a chat forum to a Roman forum for the day.

"Can you find me sandals to go with this toga?" she begged, while a newly nubile Gigondas wanted to know if, "Anyone else is finding they are much more interested in DH since reading Ars Amatoria?"

"Which level reading scroll is your child on?" asked woahwoah, the competitive mater, but ArtexMonkey and her familia have sadly fallen on hard times, so she needs some domus-keeping advice. "Help," she cried. "I only have two denarii to feed the six of us until the Ides of March. Does anyone know where I can get the cheapest dormice?"

Poor caramelwaffle is having terrible trouble entertaining her filii this summer. "Colosseum? Colosseum? It's worse than trying to get tickets for the Olympics!"

Tee2072 lives in Pompeii but lately she's been having a bit of a problem with ash. "Top tips for cleaning it up?" she enquired, brightly, as the sky began to fall on her head. But her problems paled into insignificance compared to ThisIsNotHoneyDragon's modern family dilemma: "DH and I want to spend our first winter festival as a married couple alone. AIBU to not invite my DMother and DMIL, especially as they are the same person?"

At least she's not in as much trouble as EngeldinkHumpabert's mother-in-law: "She  took my DS1 to see the Gladiators at the Colosseum. AIBU to have her crucified?"

"Hi there," said SandyMumsnet (MNHQ). "We're moving this thread to Classics." Well, of course you are.

(Keep up with the latest musical compositions and historical forays by following us on FB and Twitter.) 

AITCH 

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