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22 June 2012
Domestic emergency, domestic emergency. <makes nee-naw noises> Magneto has a SLUG!
Where? "In the dishwasher!" Yikes.
"It's having a merry old slime all over the rack," she fretted. "DH won't be home to remove it until after 4pm. I need new dishes, a new dishwasher and new plumbing. Donations welcome. Must come from slug-free home."
Don't all offer at once. Some practical veterinary advice, first, from a mischievous MrsMangoBiscuit, who wanted to know: "Is the salt topped up in your dishwasher?"
Thankfully, by this time Magneto had managed to get rid of it with the barbecue tongs. "Will need a new pair of those now too... There are slug trails all over the inside of the door. And my dishwasher doesn't do anything above a 70-degree wash! <wails> I need it hotter!"
Yes, indeed, boil the blighter. But what if it happens again? Fortunately, Walkingcarefully knows what to do in the event of another infestation: "Pour a saucer of beer. Drink it. Step drunkenly on slug." <collective shudder>
GwendolineMaryLacey also has an unwanted house guest, it would seem. "Right, we've got a lizard in the flat. Now WTF do we do?" she asked this week. "The little bugger scurried in and is under the sofa. DD2 and I are hiding in the bedroom. How does DH get it out?"
'Hoover?" asked PissyDust, rather callously. <schluuuuurp> BarbaraWoodlouse, perhaps in some kind of crustacean/reptile solidarity, proposed Gwen either: "A. Give it a name, or B. Move."
Bucharest sympathised: "We had Lizzy the lizard behind the sofa for weeks last September. I think she left of her own accord eventually, but then I don't hoover behind the sofa
We have a live update. Gwen's back: "DH is lurking with a child's sand bucket and the torch of my phone! I'm Googling '7 ways to catch a lizard'. The God of Google tells me it's likely a wall lizard and as scary as a woolly jumper. However, it can run faster than me and that bit I'm not so keen on. DD1 is running round gathering up her toys, shouting 'Save things!'
"Just heard a bang and footsteps running like the clappers (DH's, not the lizard I assume). He's either running away from it or with it."
And finally... take a deep breath all ye MNers who live north of the UK border.
"DP is complaining about me Mumsnetting... while he is watching the football. I hate football. He IBU, right?" If ever a woman needed the MN Jury, it was QueenSconetta.
"He is being unreasonable, no one gets to decide what you do of an evening apart from you," confirmed LaurieFairyCake. "But it's over now so you might get some sex right?" This being MN, there was then an unseemly tussle between doggiemumma and CouthyMow to be the first person to say "Leave the bastard!" A laughing QueenSconetta returned to clear up the issue raised by Laurie: Lol @doggie and couthy. @Laurie - no sex, he's Scottish." [shock]