To subscribe/unsubscribe to Mumsnet newsletters, please use #unsublink#.

Mumsnet Logo Box Office

SAVE AN EXCLUSIVE 10% on your next Mark Warner holiday when booking through Mumsnet. Find out more .

Talk Round-up

25 May 2012

A concerned Fluffycloudland77 sought the help of The Litter Tray's posters this week. "My cat is haunted," she declared, nervously. (Perhaps Religion/Philosophy/Spirituality/Ghosties might have been more appropriate?) "DH and I were laying in bed this morning, drinking tea. The cat was lying on my lap after being evicted from my pillow. All of a sudden he flew backwards off the bed and landed on my dressing gown. His legs didn't move at all, he wasn't deeply asleep or twitching having dreams or anything like that. He moved three feet with no effort on his part. Freaked us both out. Cat just sat there looking at us."

It's OK, Fluff, Jux is here to diagnose. "He forgot you were there, otherwise he would never have activated the Cat Levitation Ability. They only ever do it in secret. He will be roundly chastised by the King of Cats when this gets out, you know." 

Box Office

There's no heart-warming national event that goes past without comment on MN, and with a summer of sport soon to begin, Salmotrutta asked: "So...  the Olympic flame arrived in the form of a small storm lamp?" She was watching live television coverage of the great day, and was evidently disappointed by what she was seeing. "Wasn't quite sure what I was expecting but maybe something...err...more grand. It looked like she was off to investigate a noise in the barn."

"Greek cuts," explained MaryMotherOfCheeses.

"AIBU to be relieved that someone else is obviously as slatternly as I am (knicker-related)?" asked mamhaf this week. Isn't this The Whole Point of MN?

She continues: "You know when you rush out of the house wearing yesterday's jeans and then wonder if you've put them on with yesterday's knickers inside because there's a suspicious bump which might be slipping its way down one leg?

"No? Obviously not as slatternly as me then, but if it's 'yes' read on...

"We were at a big event with DD at the weekend. We were going in and out of a hall where the event was held throughout the day and my heart sank when I saw knickers in the middle of the floor, which looked very like one of my best pairs. Earlier on, I'd felt that suspicious bump in the leg which I'd ignored.

"Anyway, on spotting the knickers-which-might-have-been-mine, I had to decide, and quick, whether to: a) surreptitiously pick them up; b) kick them to one side and maybe pick them up later; c) ignore them.

"I did c), and then confessed to DD and DH later that evening that I thought they were mine. DD helpfully pointed out I'd probably been caught on CCTV with the aforesaid undergarments dropping out around my foot."

It's a lovely story, isn't it? But there's more...

"Anyway, I looked in my sports bag this evening, and the knickers were there! So, someone else is as slatternly as I am, and I'm delighted. Also, I didn't stoop to pick up another minger's knickers."

I think we would all agree that's a total result, non? Kleptronic certainly thinks so: "I was very pleased to read this post, and chortled. I can reassure you though; so slatternly was I that I simply didn't take them off, thereby obviating the potential escape problem." It's certainly one strategy...

(Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for more tall tales and slatternly behaviour.)

AITCH

PS You'll have to make your own amusement next Friday as Talk Round-up is off for a week. See you back on Friday 8 June. 

THIS WEEK on Mumsnet Weekly Deals get free personalisation at The Disney Store, 10% off at Sweaty Betty, £15 off at Cotton Traders, £10 off at Brand Alley and 20% off at Oasis.