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Talk Round-up

4 May 2012

Rhinosaurus is in shock.

"This morning, my son - the 15-year-old who cannot get out of bed... who misses two school buses a week... who stuffs food wrappers down the side of the sofa rather than walk across the room to the bin... who goes to put something in the dishwasher, but when he sees it is full of clean stuff, stacks the plates and cups up on the worktop waiting for someone else to empty it... who puts clean clothes in the laundry basket rather than fold them up and put them away..."

Yes..?

"...was downstairs in the kitchen, dressed in school uniform, in good time for the bus, emptying the dishwasher with a cup of tea made for me on the table...

B&Q

Is he on drugs? Is there a major unreasonable request coming up, requiring girding of the loins?"

"He's after money," confirmed Kaluki. Sidge agreed. "He wants something; probably something expensive or illegal." Either that or "he's ^done^ something; probably something expensive or illegal."

Sparklingbrook
, however, has another theory: "You are going to be a grandma. <runs away>"

Roll up, roll up... "Your challenge is to suggest names for the places, streets and shops that would make up the County of Mumsnet," announced WhirlyByrd. "The lingerie shop would be called Judgy Pants."

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger was concerned that: "The zoo would be a bit shit. Just some penguins, a bat and a nest of vipers."

"A butchers called Naice Ham," said SephoraRose, and KurriKurri reckoned that there should be "a pub called 'Terry Wogan's C**k' - with appropriate signage."

"Has anyone mentioned the patisserie yet?" enquired beanandspud. "No name needed - just a biscuit."

Here's a lovely story, everyone. A lovely, lovely story from whatsallthefuss, a lovely proud mum. Enjoy. It's not like anything will go wrong, is it? Not on Mumsnet.

"My DD wrote a message on a pebble today," she boasted. "It said: 'To Mum and Dad, you are the best Mum and Dad in the world.' Just made me cry a little. Kids are great, aren't they?"

They ARE. And what kind of parent wouldn't immediately agree?

Oh, the curiositykitten kind. "A pebble? That's a lot of writing - was it maybe a rock?" she asked.

"Is there some kind of regulation size for pebbles?" asked thisisyesterday, <Googling>. Wait, she has the answer. "Turns out there is, 4-64mm. The next size up is a cobble though, not a rock." Now we know.

Thank goodness BustleInYourHedgerow is here, to inject some sweetness and light. "I used to write messages on snails. Mostly 'hello', but sometimes, when I felt brave, I'd write 'f***er'. Then panic if I saw one in the street in case my Mum spotted it and it said F***er and she recognised my handwriting." Kids. They really do do the darndest things, don't they?

AITCH
 

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