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Talk Round-up

24 February 2012Toys R Us

A modern quandary, this week, for HarrietSchulenberg, who asks: "AIBU to film my neighbours in the shower/on the toilet and put them on YouTube?" Don't all answer at once... just hear her out.

"Their bathroom window backs on to my garden. They have no curtains or blinds and every time they shower I can see them, plain as day. It's worse at night as they have the light on, so I can practically see every hair on their furry backsides."

To be fair to Harriet, she did ignore it for about three years but then tackled them in a very 'English' fashion ("I probably sounded like a female Hugh Grant") but the, ahem, bottom line is that nothing has changed. And there's more: "One of them is a dinner lady at the Junior School, FFS. And don't start me on the time they had super-noisy sex in the back garden (H and I got the toy binoculars out to see if we could spot them, but they were behind their shed so we couldn't)."

"I was feeling sorry for you 'til you and your DH tried to spy on them having sex," replied a disgusted LaurieFairyCake. "Get your own sex life. Weirdo."

VivaLeBeaver's suggestion: "Get a megaphone and shout 'I can see you, naked person in the bathroom. Get your piles sorted.' And similar helpful medical advice."

Back to Laurie, though, for the definitive response: "Point it out to your kid, you daft bat. Once he's announced it in the dinner queue she'll be at Ikea buying blinds before the end of the day."

"Why did my vagine just make a strange snapping sound?" asked a not-so-silent SilentBoob. "I was sitting on the loo contemplating getting up when there came the strangest sound from my nethers. I am nine months pregnant, but the sound didn't come from my belly. Not an external sound. Not a popping sound. A sort of neat 'snap' sound. What could that have been then?"

"Ooh, hope it's your waters breaking!" chirruped AThingInYourLife. "And not my original guess of vagina dentate."

Icelollycraving is at least actively sympathetic, having suffered similarly: "I remember this odd popping sound weeks before. I genuinely was a bit freaked out. It was in fact someone Skyping me on my iPad. I always chuckle now when I hear it." Ping!

Actual empathy, however, comes from giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow, whose "sinuses are making snap, crackle and pop noises just now - bloody sinusitis!" On the upside, though, she's got an idea: "Shall we combine to make a band?"

And finally, a lovely thread from jamdoughnutfiend, who asks: "When did you first feel like a "proper" Mum?" Aaaaw. This'll be a nice one, eh? All happy memories of snuggling the back of lil babies' heads etcetera. Er... not according to Whenisitmysleepytime, who declared that it was the moment of "choosing to catch someone else's vomit in my hands rather than let it go on the carpet".

AITCH
 

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