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Talk Round-up

10 February 2012Phase Eight

Strange events were afoot chez EmpressOfTheSevenOceans, who posted: "Does my phone have superpowers or does my toilet?"

Well? It's obviously one of the two, because how else do you explain THIS?

"I have an X10 Mini Pro and love it to bits," she explains. (We're talking about a phone here rather than some kind of intimate toy, by the way). "It crashes maybe once a day but otherwise works fine. Last night I dropped it down the toilet. This morning it's working better than ever before. I swear it's faster and the crashes seem to have ceased. So should I be amazed at my phone for miraculously surviving its dunking, or my toilet for apparently repairing my phone?"

MyCatHasStaff has it sussed: "Obviously the mobile has realised that if it doesn't behave itself you will drown it." Either that, or "your loo is the Lourdes of modern technology."

Well, it's a thought.

"In that case can you send through some toilet water for our dishwasher?" asked StealthPolarBear unhygienically. That woman really hates the washing up.

"Since having children I have had to say things I never thought would leave my mouth,AttillaTheMum realised this week. "Examples of this are: 'Don't lick the car', and 'Mummy's bra isn't where we keep grapes'."

What followed made reference to more children licking more items than even the most experienced child-carer might have predicted (including lamp-post, dog, public toilet, lunchtime supervisor and catering block of Cheddar), but also elicited this charming, nay poetic, cautionary tale from carabos, which one assumes/hopes cropped up during a trip to a safari park.

"Don't give your Mars bar to the monkey.
I said don't give your Mars bar to the monkey.
Get the monkey out of the car.
Let's get out of the car so the monkey doesn't bite us."

MaureenMLove had a moral question to put to the MN Massive, thanks to her daughter's recent result in her Religious Education mock exam. "She did quite well," reported the proud mother, "but one question would have turned the B into an A. What would you answer?"

Here goes.

Q. Religious people should not drive cars. Do you agree?

Maureen's poor DD reasoned that as long as they were old enough and had passed their test then it was okay by her. "She got one mark - for effort I think!" Total marks available - four. What would MNers have answered?

Captainmummy was fairly non-plussed, suggesting: "How about 'religious people tend to leave the big decisions to Him upstairs - such as, shall I slow down in fog?'" But Sharkbite could see advantages to both arguments and offered the level-headed, "Agree: They are destroying God's planet. Disagree: How will the Church's 'Meals on Wheels' service survive?" MotherPanda turned to scripture for the definitive answer, however, with: "John 5:8 Then Jesus said to him, 'Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.'" Take that, examinations board...full marks!

And finally, an animal story…is ScottishHag being unreasonable "to be a bit hmmm at a friend using DD's name for her dog?"

"Depends on the name," advised Kladdkaka. "Is your daughter called Fido?" 

AITCH
 

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