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Talk Round-up

6 January 2012Ford

So that's it, then. The festive season is finally over and the new year is begun, thank the Lord. Talking of whom... PsecretPSanta has been mulling over the implications of being 'His' mum.

"Can you imagine being the mother of the Second Coming? The pressure. It's bad enough being the mother to your average snot monster little darling. Can you imagine if the child in question happened to be the personification of Our Lord Made Flesh? The tuts you'd get if you bottle fed. The judgey pants being hoiked at every bumped head and tantrum. And if you dared to raise your voice to Our Saviour in public you'd get lynched. Poor old Mary. Talk about PFB."

SantasStrapon (now there's a Christmas name we won't be sad to lose) was frankly insulted by the question. "What do you mean, 'imagine'," she gasped. "It's something I live with every day."

Someone alert HQ, SantasStrapon's got too big for the Gifted and Talented board...

BroomForMyChin has a problem at home. Her DP is lurking on MN. "Whenever I attempt to nag for no reason because I'm bored complain about important matters he says 'leave the bastard' then titters, clearly very impressed with himself. I think he's on the verge of offering me a Real Life biscuit."

"Ask him if he rinses his mince," voiced the Grand Inquisitress cornsilxkskiy.

While To2012AndBeyondTheLimits boasted that her DH doesn't just lurk: "He is a poster <preens about man with excellent taste. Checks I haven't written anything nasty about him>."

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating advised Broom to take her situation very seriously: "Call him on it. Get a pouffe, have some Pom Bears in a bowl, send him shopping for some nice ham, send him texts where you role-play as a penguin, passive aggressively accuse him of being a Moldie when he ignores you and say HTH at regular intervals."

At least SugarPasteChristmasCake was learning something. "Mince rinsing sounds like a niche activity I should be exploring with DH on special occasions like wedding anniversaries," she declared.

Some of us go out to a restaurant, Sugar...

And finally, a picture story.

Tabulahrasa "was making a sock monkey and it went wrong, so so wrong..." Employing what might be the understatement of the millennium, she declared: "I'm not an arty crafty person." So when she created a soft toy for her 10-year-old nephew she did expect it to be a bit wonky. Not this wonky, though. "Behold..." said the proud handicrafter. "The worst sock monkey ever."

Substitute that S for a C and you'd be a lot closer to the mark. 

AITCH
 

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