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21 October 2011
Dontwotzme told a new client at work to check their 'Junk or Spam' mail and managed to conflate the two words into something that a spam filter would never let pass. So to make herself feel better, she asked what other MNers had said to fellow professionals that had set their cheeks aflame.
Whackamole's team leader "once told me he could 'feel it in his pants' that I was going to have a good day". Spooktrain's friend "once meant to say she was 'tired of spoonfeeding all the trainees' but, as she'd just got back from maternity leave, what she actually said was tired of breastfeeding them". <cue Alan Sugar-type wince>
"Someone sent me a Drat Memo earlier today," smiled OTheHugeWerewolef (while typing up their P45). Andtheniwokeup admitted: "I can't type account unless I do it very carefully..." Wrigglebum's friend once challenged his employees to "observe Loud Shirt Day, but unfortunately missed out the 'r' in shirt". Well, that would certainly put the funnnnngggh into Fun Friday.
Haggyoldclothbatspus is in trouble. "HELP! I need a dressing gown INTERVENTION!" she cried. "I'm sitting here in horror. I've gained
several a few pounds recently, and my dressing gown is getting a little snug. I was just sitting here, considering sewing the two front seams together to give me a little more room and slightly more coverage to my naughty bits, when suddenly it dawned on me... A dressing gown with no front opening, is A KAFTAN!!! I am turning into my grandmother! Please, I need help!"
"Buy a really huge one that trails on the floor," advised SecretNutellaFix, who seemed rather to have missed the point of an intervention, "so when you put on 5st over winter, it will still fasten." Likewise ZombiesAteYourCervix, who suggested Haggy invest in: "LadyGro and/or slanket. You may never have sex again but at least you will be warm."
"MuuMuus seem the height of glamour to me," shrugged SuePurblybilt. "You could dress them up with fluffy mules." (That's MuuMuu, worried S&B-ers, not MiuMiu, think of them as polar opposites on the style spectrum.) "OK," sighed Haggy, admitting defeat. "I'm seriously thinking about getting my needle and thread out. I've just remembered an incident last week where I nearly flashed my muu muu at the postman!"
"Just made a recipe which calls for eight ramekins, I can only find two - what can I use as an alternative?" asked Stokey38, innocently, this week. In Chat. Oops.
"Just a suggestion, but any spare Mooncups lying about?" offered a helpful JaneBirkin. "I mean obviously give them a rinse first and you may have to stand the 'bit' in some plasticine."
"I thought you had to have a full set (12) of ramekins to use MN, non?" smirked Snoopdogg, but at least MissPenteuth had some decent advice for our hungry chef, asking the practical question that would solve all Stokey's ills: "How quickly can you eat six Gü desserts?"
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