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Talk Round-up
9 September 2011

StealthPolarBear is confused about the tooth fairy. "DS is 4. Am I right in thinking that in a couple of years he is likely to lose his first baby tooth? Surely by then he'll be a bit old for the tooth fairy?"

"No child is going to admit to not believing in the tooth fairy, because if they did that would mean no delivery of money for their teeth falling out," pointed out a practical MadamDeathstare. "However, you might want to warn your DS that the tooth fairy is unreliable and basically incompetent. At our house she once left twice the amount of money because she had a couple of glasses of wine and woke up in the morning forgetting that she had already been the night before."

Aldiwhore put the pressure on, telling Stealthy in no uncertain terms: "YOU are the one who keeps the magic alive. I remember waking up (sounds dubious this bit) to find my DAD in my room, in a tutu, donning a loo brush and delivering 50p."

"I hope the loo brush was new," squeaked Stealth, but aldi confessed that hygiene was not uppermost in her mind at the time. "I didn't question whether the loo brush was new, I was too busy being horrified at my logistics manager dad wearing MY FLIPPING TUTU!!!!"

"PFB and proud," declared OliviaMumsnet this week. "I will be making my very first ever packed lunch later tonight. Any tips?" (Subsequent rumours that Justine had her locked in Tech's Punishment Shed for Time-Wasting Employees as a warning to others who bear the Mumsnet posting name are just that, people.)

What followed was a litany of misery, judgement and boasting with occasional flashes of brilliant advice - so just a standard MN thread – until ThePopsicleKate took a stroll down memory lane. "Packed lunches have changed since I was at school! I am always surprised when I read on here about schools confiscating packets of crisps. I always had: two-slice jam sandwich, a carrot/cucumber slices, a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar, washed down with a bottle of lemonade/panda pop. I was fat, to be fair."

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"Bloody hell!" spluttered TheOriginalFAB. "My cat was just stalking a fox! What was she thinking?!" "My cat was bullied by mice," replied bagelmonkey, employing her [sad face] to great effect. "Poor bagelcat [more sad face]. Is she OK?" asked FAB, kindly. "Oh, it was a while ago," came the response. "Bagelcat is now in kitty heaven, where you don't have to sit in the corner watching as the mice eat your food from your bowl..."

And we leave you with a question to ponder. It's from Hassled, who wanted to know: "If you found a secret sliding bookcase in your house, would you go in the revealed passageway?" "How could you not?" asked a baffled GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck. "There might be a quiet padded cell with anti-children lasers down there."

AITCH

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