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Talk Round-up
05 August 2011

With Hackgate still very much in the headlines, Bathsheba was prompted to ask (quite legitimately and in an open and honest fashion), "If someone hacked into YOUR voicemail, what fabulous exclusives and in-depth stories could they write..?"

"Someone hacking into mine would have a great exposé based on my Mum saying, 'Well, you aren't in the house and your phone must be at the bottom of your handbag. Oh well, it's nothing important.' They could hack in for months and months, frankly, and just get that ad infinitum, with slightly different wording...."

Most of us have suffered as MrsVidic has, who is on the receiving end of "about 50 messages off of various friends and family saying, 'Oh you're not answering. Is it because you're in labour?' or 'Have you had the baby yet?' Grrrrr. The reason I'm avoiding my phone is because, no, I bloody well haven't!"

But hang in there, MrsV, it's only a matter of time before that child will be old enough to call you on your mobile, just as rubyrubyruby's child does, to leave a heartfelt and loving, "Mum, Mum, MUM!! <bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>"

"Mumsnet Olympics?" asked GeekLove this week. "Less than a year to go now..." She'd been thinking of sports that MNers might try to have recognised. "Wet-Nappy Shot Put?" she suggested. PelvicFloorOfSteel was all in favour of the "100m Potty Dash And Triple Jump Over Annoying Bits Of Lego" (gold medal awarded to person who swears least on the final landing), while TalcAndTurnips proposed, "Diving: 10m Platform Headlong Into A Thread And Making An Utter Twat Of Oneself."

"Speed Judging?" proposed SiamoFottuti, which tickled fastweb: "Ooh, good one. Extra points for avoiding giving self a wedgie while hoisting judgy knickers at lightning speed."

Nevergoogle has a question regarding social niceties (well, she is a well-known stickler for such things). Should a complete stranger acknowledge her or not? "I mean, FFS, for the past two years I have walked past this guy on my way to work, every single bleeding morning. Then, on my way home, we pass each other again. We live in a small town, there's never anyone else about, yet he strides past with his head up and stares straight ahead as if I'm a figment of my own imagination."

TrillianAstra pointed out the fatal flaw in nevergoogle's strategy: "If he says hello, then next time you might have to talk. You might be one of these needy clingy people, and he'll have to talk to you every day forever or move away."

"But," moaned never, "I have a friendly exchange with the street cleaner every morning. I can tell if I'm running late by how far he's got when I meet him. He's like bloody clockwork."

And then it hit her... "Maybe I'm dead? Maybe the street cleaner has the Sixth Sense?" Gosh, what is the etiquette there? "Ask him!" exhorted MumblingRagDoll. "Just say, 'Excuse me, can you see dead people?'" Great, so now there will be two people pointedly ignoring nevergoogle every morning...

AITCH

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