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27 May 2011
"Am I being unreasonable to do Shazza Taylor's maths homework in return for her collection of scented erasers?" asked JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar this week, turning up the waistband of her skirt and sticking her chewing gum under her desk. This was "prompted by a thread on Teenagers, which got me thinking that I'd have loved AIBU as a teen".
Dickiedavisthunderthighs had rather more pressing concerns. "AIBU to tell my mum I'm staying at Rachel's even though we're going to a party and staying there ALL NIGHT and my mum's a beetch anyway and probably doesn't even care where I stay and I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN ANYWAY?" KatieWatie wanted to know if SWBU "to not want to lend my copy of Judy Blume's Forever because people only want it for that page and aren't prepared to read the whole thing?" but Jenai reckoned she had form in this arena: "YABU, Katie, coz I lent you my mum's copy of Lace and there is NO WAY you read all of it in two days."
First-former AbsDuCroissant, a self-confessed "very innocent teen, traumatised by The Horse Whisperer, needed to ask one of the big girls "to explain why you'd want to put a man's thing in your mouth?" Answers on a postcard, please, chaps and chapesses.
"Love this thread," said sandyballs. "I'm torn between enjoyment of the great memories this brings back and horror that my two girls are almost this age."
"MN bought an island," announced IslandofMN. "You get a personal invitation to come and live there." (Nobody mention the M-word.) "The only conditions are that you need to provide the following: three skills; three other MNers; a party trick, and one thing you'd ban. The immigration desk is now OPEN. Come and state your case."
"No! Please no!" exclaimed piprabbit. "This is Lord of the Rings with Babyliss Big Hair and BFing pads." Oh yes, we can see that: bouffy hair, breastfeeding, that's very MN... but what was that about the Hobbits? "Doh! Not Rings. Flies. Lord of the Flies." Poor pip. We all assumed she was talking about our hairy toes again.
"DD1 is insisting she has a new teacher called Miss Takes," said a doubtful Ilythia. "I mean, really?" "My old teacher was called Wendy House!" chirruped chimchar brightly, but NoCarbsBeforeMarbs took things to a dark place with a "year 9 teacher called Mr Purver".
"A GP at our surgery is called Tom Jones," offered Disasterpiece. "Pathetic as it is, DP and I always do that 'Huuu!' noise when he walks past us." Pedants would have struggled to take NosyRosie's old English master Mr Sentance very seriously but it was a consultant called Mr Punch that caused manticlimactic some trauma upon introduction: "Cue silly giggles that I couldn't stop. He said he was used to it. He was showing me some exercises and unfortunately said, 'That's the way you do it.' Nearly wet myself."