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Talk Round-up
22 April 2011

Famously bright sorts on Mumsnet, doncha know. Savvy, hep-to-the-beat types who don't go getting the wool pulled over their eyes, nosirreebob... sorry, where was I? Oh yes.

OldBagWantsANewBag had a question. "Yesterday evening I was very lazy busy so I asked DP if he wouldn't mind popping to the cashpoint for me. He said that he couldn't use my card at the cashpoint as it has 'gender recognition' and the machine probably wouldn't give the card back. Is this true or was he as er, busy, as me?"

"He was lying," said usualsuspect with her usualbluntness, while blueeyedmonster suggested: "Next time he tries it on, tell him the oven now has gender recognition."

BitOfFunnyBunny had her eye on the main prize - OldBag still needed money from the cashpoint after all - and instructed her to: "Tell him he's got to go, but in drag."

"What names did you have for various subcultures when you were a teenager?" asked StayFrosty. "In my town, people who were into all NafNaf jackets, shell suits, perms and scrunchies were called townies. I guess they'd be chavs nowadays, but I didn't hear that word till 2003 <weirdly precise memory emoticon>."

Pinkstinks was a goth, "although they shouted 'goffick' at me", as was BeerTricksPotter, who revealed that: "Mark Ellen read out my heartfelt plea of misunderstoodness on Annie Nightingale's late night show once."

Sharbie "was a punk rocker - there weren't many of us around", but Ripeberry declared rather po-facedly: "I did not go around in a 'tribe', I had my own style and am comfortable with not 'conforming' to any group." A fraek, in other words. Thank God she found Mumsnet.

And finally, SpeedyGonzalez wanted to know if there was anyone on MN not planning to celebrate The Wedding? "I just don't do the whole monarchy thing, y'know." "You are not alone," said Prunnhilda, with some solemnity. "Every time I hear the words 'The Royal Wedding' I am going to replace them in my head with 'imminent lizard invasion'."

Said invasion had inspired bebejones to plan "a nice afternoon tea for The Wedding". "We are having a small gathering to bitch about the outfits watch the proceedings. Of course I will be making cucumber sandwiches, so, apart from cucumbers, what else do I need?"

Much complicated gourd-related advice was forthcoming, much to the horror of lljkk. "Oh Gawd, don't tell me there's supposed to be a technique to cuke sarnies," she moaned. 

It fell to BikeRunSki to supply the definitive recipe: "White bread. Butter not marg. Triangles. No crusts. Skin on," she barked. "We had 'afternoon tea' for a friend's baby shower last summer. That group of friends are all competitive undereaters and could not work out why they were so nice. It's butter you skinny loons, butter!"

AITCHXXX

Meerkats or teabags? Fridge doors or tea cosies? What fitting memorabilia of WillKat's Big Day will we bequeath to our children? Vote for your favourite from our Royal Wedding memorabilia shortlist.