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4 March 2011
Sometimes, just sometimes… there is an OP so perfect that to sully it with further comment is unnecessary.
"Nothing," one name-changing MNer announced this week, "can prepare you for the horror of letting out an enormous fart in secret and then seeing your child's headmaster appear."
So let's move on to the burning question for ChaosTrulyReigns this week: "Am I being unreasonable to wonder if you can wander around your landing nekkid without being seen by the outside world?" Well, can you? "Not entirely," said a carefree BeatRoute, "but I do like to perform the odd risky streak to the bathroom anyway."
"I bloody hope so," muttered an unsure ChippyMinton, with AurraSing's "I thought I could, but the window cleaner will tell you different," providing little in the way of comfort. "Yep I can, if I feel like it," chirruped KurriKurri. "My windows are so filthy I don't even have to close the curtains [proud]."
"Cat pee detection is SOOOO much fun. Seriously!" squealed an over-excited toddlerwrangler, thrilled at her latest purchase. "The other night I was drunk and on Amazon (never a good combination) and found this special torch that makes cat spray glow. Glow! Just like in Dexter (well, OK, he is looking for blood, not pee). £15 didn't seem much money for glowing cat pee, so I ordered it. It came today and I LOVE it. I have found THREE lots of pee and am now completely addicted, on my hands and knees investigating every nook and cranny. I definitely look cool like Dexter. Anyway, I must dash as I want to do a perimeter sweep now that it's dark."
Before long, toddlerwrangler was back with a breathless update: "Perimeter search over. No pee to report. I could be wrong, but I think the cat pee fumes may have made me a bit high." Ya think?
Nagoo worried that if she were to purchase such an item, her "house would be lit up like f*cking Blackpool", while Thingumy breached all acceptable boundaries of taste by asking, "Will you be 'testing' it on your bed sheets later?"
Toddlerwrangler again: "I am now doing FBI-style 'jumping out from the side of a door' type moves. With torch. Would look silly without." CeliaFate advised: "Yell 'GO! GO! GO!' whenever you enter a new zone. And 'CLEAR!' when no pee has been detected."
"I'd check DH's hands, as I swear he never washes after a pee," said chronic over-sharer Thingumy. "It'd be good if they did a key-chain version that you could just whip out to detect stray fluids, on a whim."
"Just heard loo flush!" trilled TW, obligingly. "Off to check husband's hands!"
Within hours of this thread being started, toddlerwrangler's cat urine discovery torch had entirely sold out on Amazon. That's the power of pee-er to pee-er marketing, my friends...