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25 February 2011
"Oh help! I've singed my mooncup!" yelped theyoungvisiter. "What can I do? Is it saveable? Slightly bald spot on one side. Eeek."
The world of MN struggled to take in how such an accident might have befallen theyoungvisiter's re-useable silicon sanpro, with GwendolineMaryLacey asking nervously, "Were you drying your flange with a hairdryer?" and LoopyloopsHulaHoops helpfully pointing out, "You do know they don't need ironing?"
"Hee hee," giggled theyoungvisiter, presumably drunk on the fumes. "I was boiling it - as per the instructions. You're only supposed to boil it for 5 mins but I forgot about the pan and only remembered when the smoke alarm went off! Mooncup is now a v dodgy colour."
"That's why I lost interest in mine," said Havingkittens. "I didn't really want to buy a special saucepan for boiling my mooncup and also didn't want to get caught doing that in the kitchen by my OH, or worse still, the lodger."
"A special saucepan?!" shrieked theyoungvisiter. "I do it in the ordinary egg pan. I mean I do wash it first... that's far more hygienic than eggs themselves." And if you pause to think about it, people, she is not wrong... <pushes away boiled egg and toast soldiers>
"People who have qualified as a doctor through watching Grey's Anatomy, Casualty or Holby City... please stop," begged iPhoneDrone this week. "Performing a sternal chest rub on your child because they are coughing is just weird," she explained. "Diagnosing your friends based on yesterday's episode of Doctors is even weirder."
Faverolles took issue only with the programmes in question. "I prefer to diagnose from watching House. It's usually lupus." "But only if sarcoidosis has been ruled out first," explained fellow Hugh Laurie fan Libraishavinganotherbiscuit.
"My training is from ER and Scrubs," offered AbsDuCroissant (evidently unaware that Scrubs is a comedy show and therefore wholly unreliable for diagnostic purposes. Please note her name for future reference, sickly MNers). "You can imagine my immense disappointment when I had to go to A&E a couple of years ago and it was so... dull. No hot doctors, no blood spouting all over the place, no helicopters, no one shagging in cupboards. There was a man who fainted but that's about as exciting as it got."
"I am more low key," said PonceyMcPonce. "I anticipate in advance what drug will be prescribed and am rarely wrong. Probably aided by doctors using something like seven drugs for 85% of ailments."
"I'm House and ER-trained too," boasted FiveFeetTwo. "It's so useful to be able to reassure my friends and family on a regular basis that they don't have lupus," she said with some confidence. However MmeLindt's experience of the auto-immune condition was somewhat different. "A friend's husband has actually just been diagnosed with lupus," she chirruped heartlessly, "...much to the satisfaction of family and friends who had known all along."