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21 January 2011
"Middle Ages Mumsnet?" proposed AnyFuleKno this week. She followed straight up with a medical query direct from her own hovel: "Dear Mumsnet, mine husband hath broken his arm falling from atop the midden. How many leeches should I apply?" "Thou should not ask for advice on yon interweb," responded tabulahrasa briskly. "Get thee to an apothecary."
Catinthehat2, meanwhile, had her own query, asking, "When my neighboures denounce me for wytchecrafte, do you thynke I should opt for burning at ye stake or drowning in ye village ponde?" but GoodChristianaRejoice was too busy moaning "why doth my tithe go to the benefyts cheats when I cannot afford fine ale for my children?" to respond. Fortunately, tabulahrasa was on hand for some Middle Ages myth-busting: "Children should not be given fine ale but small beer - thou ist being confused by fine ale companies' advice. Small beer provides all the goodness children need."
MissBeehiving went straight to the top with her request, posting in Site Stuffe, "Mistress Helen of Mumsnete, I beseech ye to allow us plebians the use of a 'burn her at the stake' emoticon in AIBU," but, by then, AnyFuleKno's stomach was rumbling. "What's for dinner?????," she enquired. "I shall scrape the mould 'pon this two-day-old bread. 'Twill be most acceptable, om nom nom."
After Slubberdegullion's highly successful ceramics-therapy thread last year, poor overwhelmed Mists realised it was time for Ramekin Intervention 2011 when she discovered that, "I now have over 15 ceramic dessert pots which I intended to keep for 'children's craftwork - paint and glue pots' and/or 'coddled eggs' and other things which I have no intention of actually cooking. I feel that I gained a lot from last year's support thread but, what with being snowbound and the pressure of Christmas, I have had a bit of a relapse."
This was no ceramics-only clique, however: "Calpol spoon-hoarders welcome too!" "Yes!" squeaked Stockett, pointing out the essential paradox that is "Calpol spoons everywhere I go, until I am clutching a wailing infant in the middle of the night when I can't find one for love nor money". Proud Meglet had an announcement to make: "Fourteen ramekins will be going on Freecycle this weekend. They are rattling about in my spinny corner cupboard and driving me up the wall." "I'm not sure I could take the responsibility of putting my ramekins on Freecycle," worried a shocked Meglet. "Isn't that enabling?"
Talking of Slubber, she is "always terribly impressed by folk who know the proper police names for their letters... Foxtrot, Delta, Zulu... and they always say them so quickly because they just know them". And what had prompted this thought? Why, the yearly humiliation of renewing her car insurance, of course. "Yes, K for kangaroo, G for, um, geranium. Geranium, wtf? Geranium isn't even a good 'g' sound." A world-weary rasta replied to her almost immediately: "DH knows the whole police alphabet. For all the wrong reasons of course..."
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