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Talk Round-up
15 October 2010

Dateline 13/10/10: the rescue mission very nearly cumplida in Chile, and what is happening on MN? Are we knitting blankets, perhaps? Preparing aid parcels for the families who have spent the last two months camping out on a freezing mountain? Nope. Some of us are bored with the rather homely miners numeros 5-25 and minds are wandering. Eleison, I'm talking to you...

"If it was MNers, not MiNers, stuck underground..." she mused, offering an example of the type of deep (underground) thought we might come up with. "Style and Beauty: Does this capsule make me look frumpy? Good Housekeeping: Can't be bothered to shift rubble from tunnel entrance. Am I a slattern?"

WhoAteAgentZigzagsBrain wanted to know if she would be being unreasonable to "tell one of my fellow miners to SHUT THE FLIP UP about her MIL?" (Although she didn't actually say flip, truth fans.) Vbusymum1 had been inspired by a thread she'd seen earlier, posting, with some irritation, "I was 69 days late home from work and my childminder had my DCs dressed and waiting in the garden", while Kbear tried to organise a "Mumsnet Meet-up. Meet you by the wall. No, the other wall..." SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood, of course, wanted to know "What's for dinner?", a question MassiveKnob answered with some callousness: "Dust". VinegaRigamorTits, meanwhile, was looking at the calendar and counting backwards: "Conception - I'm six weeks gone but have been in the mine for over two months <worried>" but it fell to sethstarkaddersmummyreturns to express a thought that, if we're honest, has crossed all of our minds in the last 60-some days. "AIBU," she asked, "to want to stay down here as it is the first time in 15 years I've had a full night's sleep?"

BalloonSlayer, meanwhile, facing the onset of another cold winter, has decided to retreat into the warm (some might even say hot) world of her imagination. She is going to become "a Jilly Cooper character" for the duration, thankyouverymuch. "I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel," she told us. "I want a rosy-cheeked face. I want to drink three-quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier..."

And with that, they were orf, ladies and gentlemen, with notwavingjusthaunting wistfully wandering "through the hedgerows on a hot summer's day, absently snapping off a bit of wild garlic (as opposed to getting run over by a 4 X 4/motorbike/tractor and breathing in toxic fumes)". BalloonSlayer wants "a mobile phone that has a 'receiver' I can 'slam down'", while olderandwider wants to make appalling puns: "'Now this is what I call hardcore prawn', I shall say, as I spear a glistening pink crustacean with a fork bearing the ancient family crest." GetOrfMoiLand wants "to seduce someone with my juddering backside as I whisk scrambled eggs, and to be the type of person (who only exists in Jillyworld) who loses weight whilst stressed, as opposed to putting on two stone (99% of which is biscuits and crisps)." Orlando sighed, her damp, dark eyes glinting under her sooty lashes, "and if DH wanted to drawl every now and then, I wouldn't mind that either. Especially if he started the sentence by drawling 'Ker-rist' and finished it by putting his hand down my cleavage."

We really, really (pron: raally, raally) need Jilly in for a webchat...

AITCHXXX

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