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Talk Round-up
1 October 2010

"Clearly I have been thoroughly indoctrinated by you lot!" exclaimed TheProfiteroleThief on Monday. Oh lordy, what now? Sausage rolls? Fruit shoots? Please, no, not the parent and child parking...

No, indeed. Over to Thief: "I was looking through a semi-poncey catalogue with one of those 'H O M E' sets of letters in silver painted wood. I thought, I could rearrange those, dump the 'O' and put 'M E H' on the wall instead. MNers, I sniggered at my own joke." Nameymcnamechange's choices offered a fascinating insight into her domestic arena: "In the kitchen I would have S I G H. In the bathroom I would have A R G H. In the kids bedroom I would have T U T." C0rns1k wants 'F F S' in her bedroom, while ampere would express herself with a heartfelt 'O H  F F S' over the homework table. "I'm going out to get some tomorrow!!" squeaked Jugglers excitedly.

Poor sweetkitty was in a terrible state this week, asking: "AIBU to leave my DP over this disgusting discovery?" His crime? "I just put on the TV and Jeremy Kyle is being recorded on Sky Plus!!" "I think you should go on Jeremy Kyle and have the audience decide," suggested LilRedWG helpfully (rather missing the point that AIBU is MN's own little corner of tabloid interweb).

"You are being perfectly reasonable <surreptitiously switches JK off>," said cupcakesandbunting soothingly. Hard-liner MmeLindt instructed sweetkitty to: "Get the kids' passports, phone the bank and have the money in the account transferred into your name, and get onto a solicitor right away." Proudnglad, however, spotted an opportunity for marital leverage: "I'd be delighted if I discovered this. I could use it as blackmail, 'Make me breakfast in bed or I'll tell your macho pub geezers'."

"What have you done with your children's milk teeth?" asked Geocentric. "My mother gave me some horribly yellowed baby teeth saying, 'Here, they're yours, you can have them back'. I of course did what any sensible adult would do and chucked them in the bin. When DS lost his first teeth a couple of years ago I kept them. Now DD's have come out as well and I found myself thinking why on earth am I bothering to keep all these teeth?"

"Maybe you could make a necklace?" proposed a ruthlessly upbeat nikki1978. Euphemia put her DD's teeth in a little purse with her initials on, which she keeps "up the back of the knicker drawer where little girls fear to tread. I expect in 20 years' time I will give DD some horribly yellowed teeth and she will chuck them in the bin". Gretl had "found some in the bottom of a vase the other day and thought the same. Why? It's hard to throw a bit of your child away. OTOH I don't keep their toenail clippings. Hmm". Unsentimental misdee posted "I bin them", before thinking better of it and coming back with a shifty, "Err, I mean the Tooth Fairy collects them." Hullygully announced with a grin that her kids' gnashers are "in a small dish with the dog's milk teeth. Very confusing for visitors".

AITCHXXX

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