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Talk Round-up
17 September 2010

"Whoops, I've dyed my chicken blue," said missbehiving this week, and much to everyone's surprise it wasn't a euphemism and she really had punked up her very own poultry. "I have chickens, fluffy chickens for showing at poultry shows [country dweller emoticon]," she said. "I have to wash them before a show to get them clean. However, this time, I tried a new shampoo on a white chicken and she is now blue! Does anyone know whether this will fade or wash out? Or is my chicken condemned to be a blue rinse until she moults?" "If it was my hair," cackled Greensleeves helpfully, "I would henna it auburn until it grew out." Isitme was disappointed, having "clicked on this thinking it was an intriguing cooking dilemma" and Dinghy asked, "Is there a fancy dress competition at the poultry show: could you enter her as a Smurf?" Portofino was "boggling at the very idea that anyone would shampoo a chicken", a point with which Dinghy readily agreed, saying, "I know. I don't even run mine under the tap before I roast it..."

And now GetOrfMoiLand would like us to name "perfectly reasonable things which you are perfectly unreasonable about". She really dislikes "names with umlauts in them. I don't mind accents in names, or that funny dot above the i in Irish names, but names with umlauts in get on my tits. Especially Zoë. Everyone can pronounce it when it is spelled Zoe. It is just attention seeking." That's us told, then. So what gets up everyone else's beaks? "People who get married and have their 18-month-old son as the 'best man' <dons flame-proof suit>," proposed SloanyPony. In what became a long, looooong thread that, once and for all, confirmed that MNers are the most wretchedly irritable creatures on God's green earth (blessings to specialmagiclady for pointing out that the OP should have been "perfectly reasonable things ABOUT WHICH you are perfectly unreasonable"), HRHPrincessReality raised the bar with the magnificently misanthropic "Pedestrians when I'm driving. Drivers when I'm walking. Cyclists all the time", and "People talking to me in the playground. Leave me alone ffs. People ignoring me in the playground. Rude effers". Welcome to the nest of vipers, people...

And finally, WillbeanChariot, having phoned in sick for the week due to an ankle fracture sustained at Buggyfit <snurk> wanted to know "What's the stupidest injury you have ever had?" Well, the floodgates opened and MNers admitted to everything from burning their noses on irons (how else can one check the temperature?) and a surprising number of mattress-related injuries. But my personal favourite, and one I have found myself risk-assessing my own home for, was popsycal's near-tragic "a few days ago, I trapped my right nip between two metal baking trays..." Play safe, kids.


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