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Talk Round-up
30 July 2010

Modern love was in the air as Jasonthunderpants wondered if it would be unreasonable "to update my Facebook status to married during the wedding service?" "After all," he reasoned, "this is a news-as-it-happens world and I am a fast-living, up-to-date kind of guy." "YANBU," said Flisspaps encouragingly, "could you request that your guests record proceedings on phones and upload them to FB and YouTube during the service as well?" SherbertDibDab suggested that it would be "rather romantic to stop the service and bring out matching iPhones" and confidently predicted "in 20 years' time this will be considered a traditional part of any wedding".

Seeker also thought it was a good idea, "because then you'd be able to tweet, or maybe even blog, your experiences of a busy casualty department as a team of doctors attempt to remove a four-inch ivory satin stiletto heel from your groin". Kaloki admitted to knowing "someone who changed her status on FB on the way from ceremony to reception", which Jason might have taken as a positive sign were it not for her addendum to the effect that "this was at a wedding where the dress code seemed to be hoodies and tracksuit bottoms". All was resolved, mercifully, when Jason returned to post a status update of his own: "I can't believe people think this is a good idea. I think IABU."

"Am I being unreasonable to not want the PIN machine in the Co-op to try to strike up conversation?" asked a frankly demented-sounding nevergoogle. "Today it was, 'Do you have a pet?' None of your blasted business, PIN machine. 'What next?' I said. 'Did you watch EastEnders last night? 'Are you sure you need onions?' 'If you were a drink, what would you be?' Gah! (Anyway, mid-rant the woman at the normal till informed me that she did in fact watch EastEnders and we both agreed that we couldn't wait for Thursday's episode.) But still, shut up machine!"

Tough-talking MNers differentID and Eaglebird refused to indulge nevergoogle in the notion that the till point was attempting to speed-date her, but Poledra bolstered nevergoogle's credibility with a kindly: "I know what you mean. Last night it asked me, 'Were your products laid out in an attractive manner?' or some such nonsense. Firstly, I was only in to buy milk, so hadn't really looked at anything else and, secondly, I do not need a PIN machine asking me vaguely suggestive questions."

Meanwhile, nevergoogle was warming to her theme: "'Are you sure those shoes match that outfit?' 'You've forgotten your Bags for Life again, haven't you?'" All of which prompted ShinyandNew to respond enviously: "Yours is nicer than mine, our local one just asks me if I need loo roll or tells me I haven't got enough money to pay for the vast amount of wine I want. I might shop there more often if it took an interest in my pets."

AITCHXXX

THE RAILWAY CHILDREN: LIVE AT WATERLOO STATION. One of the country's best loved novels comes to life in this unique theatre setting, featuring the Stirling Single, a beautiful 60-tonne steam locomotive. Click here to find out more. The production is being staged in support of the Railway Children's Charity and is supported by Welcome to Yorkshire.

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