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4 June 2010
"There is a magpie sh*gging a pigeon outside!!!!" shrieked whomovedmychocolate (pedants please forgive the four exclamation marks, the woman was shocked). "It's just wrong," she declared, before pondering the genetic implications for any offspring, "Will they have pigpies do you think?" "Are you sure the pigeon's not giving the magpie a piggyback?" offered snice helpfully, adding with a wink, "This is what I tell my children." "Maybe it's a pigeon in a magpie suit, and they're having a bit of role play," suggested KurriKurri racily, while the more formal cocolepew wondered if the pigeon might just have dressed for the occasion and opted to "wear a dinner suit". Whomoved was unmoved, however, and expressed continuing dismay at the noisy lovemaking (well, they had been banging on for over an hour at this point). "The pigeon keeps cooing and the magpie squarks and keeps cocking its head as if to say 'yeah'. It's probably illegal to watch – feel free to report me to the RSPB (Royal Society for Perverted Birdies)."
This week, Talk produced a perfect example of the melting pot that is Mumsnet. On the one hand was KodakTheBat, who wanted to know if she was being unreasonable in not 'releasing wind' in front of her DP? "We've been together three years. I've never done it. Mentioned this during a conversation with the girls last night - in their words I'm a 'bloody freak'. I've also told him I don't poo." Responses were generally unsupportive in the massively supportive manner that MNers come to expect, ranging from Poledra's "Honestly, woman, aren't you worried you might explode in front of him?" to thesmallones' "DH always likes to say 'the couple that farts together stays together'". Kodak was left in no uncertainty that, yes, she was a freak, albeit one whose husband still found her alluring and enigmatic.
And on the other hand? Compare and contrast giveittomebabylikeboomboom's approach to marital mystery, as she asked: "AIBU to have repulsed DH's drunken groping with a toxic fart?" Almost defining the phrase TMI, she then revealed: "It wasn't totally intentional. It sort of seeped out while I was half asleep. But it was very effective. Woke us both right up and forced DH over to the edge of the mattress. For a moment I felt like a squid releasing a cloud of ink in an attempt to repel a predator." Over to nagoo for the final, longsuffering word on the matter: "I deeply regret ever having farted in DH's presence, because he took the idea and ran with it." Perhaps there is something in Kodak's approach after all?
BABY'S HERE! WHO DOES WHAT? by Duncan Fisher gets down to the basics of domestic politics. Do fathers do enough caring? Do mothers do enough earning? Why do so many children miss time with their dad and feel their mum is stressed out? Fisher argues that we have lost the idea of parenting as a team game and appeals to 200,000 years of history to make the case.