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Talk Round-up
30 April 2010

"Someone just threw half a roast over my fence," dilemma456 complained on Tuesday morning. "A massive chunk of beef – it's still warm." Helpful treedelivery suggested she "ask for the Yorkshire pud too" but Pikelet sensibly warned, "Go careful in case the gravy is about to follow. Take an umbrella." ReshapeWhileDamp worried about the weather forecast: "Cloudy with a chance of roast beef?" while keen amateur detective Poledra was more concerned with catching the culprit and began her interrogation of the hapless dilemma456: "Do you have any eagles nearby that might have stolen it, then dropped it from the sky?"

"It was Sue's fault. What would you like to blame on poor Sue today?" asked brogan2, keen to pass off her own inadequate domestic achievements ("I haven't fed my kids and the washing is round my ears") as the fault of the beleaguered prime-ministerial aide Sue Nye. Now, MN is nothing if not a bastion of female solidarity but JackBauer nevertheless popped up to hold Sue to account on a public-health matter: "I ate two cheese twists – that was Sue's fault." And junglist took a hard line on transport issues: "Sue, I expect to sit down on the Tube when I get on the last carriage. Don't know what happened today but you need to sort yourself out." Fortunately, pagwatch is made of more forgiving stuff, and proposed that peace between the unfortunate lady and MN might be brokered by "getting a celebrity to sing a song for Sue. I'm thinking Elton John's Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word". Not sure that will be enough for Dumbledoresgirl, still reeling from having "put my hand twice into soft cat poo" whilst gardening. All Sue's fault, of course.

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In a craven attempt to attract posters to MNHQ'S latest (and last) election poll, CatherineHMumsnet (the name's a tribute to Harry H Corbett, I think) stickied the discussion about the final leaders' debate. "Are polls on chatrooms any easier to rig than the normal ones? Just imagining Nick Clegg on Mumsnet in back of car frantically voting for himself..." Lankyalto wasn't impressed with the BBC set for the debate, asking: "WTF are those podiums about? They look like they're on Fifteen-To-One", while StewieGriffinsMom insisted that "whoever is responsible for the lighting should be fired. They all look like Strawberry Shortcake." "They've all had botox in their foreheads, I'm convinced of it," said Molesworth, peering at her screen, although how that squared with ronshar's insistence that "Gordon Brown looks like the BFG" was never made clear. Leningrad, meanwhile, revealed her reliance on the MN commentary, saying, "I'm watching with no sound: Gordon looks passionate about something," but, fortunately, MmeLindt was on hand to confirm that "he is waxing lyrical about Scotch Pies. Said the best ones are from Rosebank Bakery in Dundee."

And with that, the debates were over, with only the traditional outraged reaction to the YouGov poll and the pesky day off school election to go. At least we had Ewe to keep us straight: "Instant polls are all rubbish. Channel4 is full of loony lefties and Times full of right-wing nutters. Mumsnet is the only place for unbiased political commentary, don't ya know?" Well, don't ya?

AITCHXXX

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