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Talk Round-up
16 April 2010

Much excitement this week after Mumsnet Towers lowered the drawbridge for the very lovely Makaton master Justin Fletcher, aka Mr Tumble, the voice of Sean the Sheep and many annoying electronic items that go beep in the night. "How many different baas did you have to record for Timmy?" asked a fascinated PfftTheMagicDragon, who perhaps glazed over slightly when informed, "When I'm recording Shaun, I can do up to four hours worth of various baas!" Wigeon thought Justin should aim higher: "I assume you are standing for Parliament, like all our other webchat guests?" StewieGriffinsMom wanted to know the truth behind the rumour that, when he received his MBE, one of the guards shouted "Mr Tumble!": "Yes it is true!" confirmed Justin. "But I had to keep a straight face because I literally met the Queen a minute later!" Some were overcome with adoration: "How do you feel about a still-married mother of two, Justin?" gushed shameless EllieG but, fortunately, Justin kept his mind on the important questions: "Mr Tumble is a fan of custard creams!"

The election may be around the corner but there's definitely no purdah on Mumsnet, with much gossiping while watching the Live Leaders' Debate: "It is just like The Weakest Link!" squealed HumphreyCobbler. "Cameron is actually carved from mahogany, I think," admired arolf. "I think he polishes his face with swan feathers and fox pelts." Peabody reprimanded the bullies: "We're all slating Cameron's complexion but, frankly, I'd pay a lot to have skin that silky." Others were distracted by Mr Clegg: "Is it just the beer or is Cleggy starting to look quite handsome?" squinted mrsbaldwin. Goldenticket was not impressed: "I've come on here to see what you're all saying about their policies and you're discussing shoes and ties!" Monkeysavingexpertdotcom felt the show needed more audience participation: "I thought Alastair was going to ask the audience to hold up green peppers or red tomatoes." (You can, of course, pass judgement on the leaders in MN's latest election poll: no veg to hold up but nice vouchers to be won.)

Now that the cheery spring days are upon us, our minds have naturally turned to practical pressure-washer advice. "Move any patio furniture out of the way," advised southeastastra, while StayingDavidTennantsGirl warned that "a pressure-washer is a very efficient way to transfer dirt from a mucky patio onto a clean person". "Gravel does not taste good," advised whomovedmychocolate. "So do not sing when pressure-washing." "I wonder what happens if you pressure-wash a frog?" wondered LunaticFringe somewhat bizarrely. "My brother strimmed one once and that was unpleasant."

Our poor boys were getting a hammering this week as we shared monumentally stupid things they have done, starting with TootaLaFruit's DH, who attempted to tackle a flooded hallway with a Hoover: "Cue the Hoover starting to chug and smoke - I'm amazed he didn't electrocute himself." "Yesterday, DH asked me why I was cleaning the toilet-seat hinges with his toothbrush," sighed TheArsenicCupCake. "The toothbrush in question is clearly marked 'Don't touch' and is stored out of the way... And, well, you can guess the rest." Thesecondcoming presented her DH with the ingredients for him to assemble a meat pie and a rhubarb crumble: "That night's Steak-and-Kidney Crumble was a treat, I can tell you, as was the Rhubarb Lump." AmpleBosom brought a ready-cooked chicken back from the supermarket and told her hubby he could pop it in the oven in its bag: "Fifteen minutes later, the kitchen was full of toxic black smoke and the chicken was covered in molten plastic – he'd put the bloody thing in the oven in the carrier bag." But Cocolepew took the prize for the owner of the most idiotic husband: after asking him to sort out a light wash, she found him "trying to weigh the clothes". Which makes Mr. Tumble seem quite a catch...

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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