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Talk Round-up
19 March 2010 

Am I being unreasonable to feel guilty that I'm not a stay-at-home mummy living next to the sea who bakes and knits? asked kat2907, after getting lost in blogville and becoming overcome with other-life envy. "I just looked at the mummy blog of an old uni friend. They live in a little village near the sea and she posts every single day with pictures of crafty lovely activities." "I can't knit and physically feel like thumping people who bring me jars of their own homemade jam or chutney," growled TrickyTeenagersMum. "As far as I'm concerned, it is pure oneupmumship." Pumphreydidit grew up by the seaside and reported that it was not always idyllic: "The beach used to wash up all sorts of things - the sorts of things never mentioned in Enid Blyton books." "Living by the sea is fun for about two weeks of the year," agreed swanandduck. "I suspect the reason that your friend blogs so much is because she's stuck indoors looking out at the wet beach."

A victory for the sisterhood this week with a new topic for Feminism/women's rights, kicking off with the burning question from resident feminist icon dittany: Why did seventies feminists wear dungarees? "They are certainly not designed simply to attract men," noted WobbleTheWaitress, who wasn't really convinced they would suit her: "I think I might just look like an overgrown toddler with tits." "I can't imagine trying to fiddle with a Mooncup whilst wearing dungarees," frowned StewieGriffinsMom. "It seems unnecessarily dangerous." Further academic debate traced dungaree history in some detail: "The route from the Depression via folk to feminism sounds right," concluded blinder. "We have solved the first debate. Next!"

What can I get a 36-year-old nun for her birthday? enquired CinnabarRed. "For Christmas, we got her a toaster which puts a picture of Jesus's face on each slice." "My friend who hangs out a lot with nuns says they always like getting food gifts," advised BadGardener, which piqued everyone's interest, especially when she divulged that the friend in question "also has all her old pets freeze-dried in her parents' basement".  "My cat's been seriously annoying today," mused CinnabarRed. "Should I get him freeze-dried for her, do you think?" "Freeze-dried pets just makes me think of those freeze-dried strawberries you get in cereal boxes," gagged MamaGoblin. "Surely they don't have the same texture?" "A goat from Oxfam?" bleated PeggysEvilTwin. "Freeze dried or regular?" cackled CinnabarRed.

Boutiques, pinny, wireless and pop socks - what words do only people like your Mum use? "I was talking to my Mum at the weekend and she described something as being mauve," pondered NorbertDentressangle. "Settee is another one." BarryKent's mum discovered the word 'trippy' a few years back, and now uses it to describe anything colourful: "I don't think she has a clue about the drug reference." HellBent's mother refers to "wonderwire instead of underwire in her bra" while mamsnet cringes when she hears her mum talk of the change: "I think that irritates me more than any other euphemism on the entire planet." "MIL said 'a creature of the night has left a message on the lawn'," recalled BadGardener. "She meant a fox had done a poo." MrsSchadenfreude was disappointed: "I'd expect a box of Milk Tray if I heard that!"

What's the strangest item your cat has brought home? asked LifeOfKate, after scraping a mole into her dustpan. CrowAndAlice's cat brought in "a mouse still in its mousetrap", while DuffyMoon's feline brought home a digestive biscuit: "It must have been quite a kill." Joolsiam's puss proffered a sausage-dog-shaped draught excluder "dragged from the neighbour's kitchen and up our kitchen steps", while ConnorTraceptive's Mafioso cat hauled in "another cat's tail". Bananaketchup's cultured cat has offered "a rubber glove" and a "book of French poetry". "My friend's cat brought in a Yorkshire terrier!" chuckled BettySwollux. "Her mum straightened its bow and shoved it out of the door." But the most impressive gift was presented by stripeyknickersspottysocks' cat: "A heron." 2fedup ran out of patience and boarded up her catflap for good: "The cat knocks on the window instead when he wants to come in." I imagine the heron just rings the doorbell.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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