MARCH FOR BETTER MATERNITY SERVICES! The NCT, AIMS, Albany Mums and others are campaigning for better maternity services for all of us - and they're holding a lively, family-friendly rally and march in Central London on Sunday 7 March to get the campaign noticed. So grab your whistle and click here to find out more!
5 March 2010
Mumsnet is ten years old and winners of the Mumsnet Haiku comp and various other slebs and hangers-on attended a birthday party at Google's London HQ. Meanwhile, back on the Talk boards, naughty posters were nudging each other and asking, "What mischief shall we get up to while they're away?" "I bet they've just left BigTech in charge," whispered WilfSell, "So we can DO. WHAT. WE. LIKE." "We should burn stuff!" shouted JeremyVile hysterically, while Trinity wanted to "have a tantrum and wreck the place". But ahundredtimes had a more cunning plan: "Let's invite a HUGE discussion across many threads weighing up the pros and cons of a Steiner education." NFI begged partygoers to post scandalous gossip: "Please tell me Sarah Brown has just revealed herself as a lifelong devotee of Gina Ford and belted MP." A swooning Anguis reported back: "Tim Dowling, for example, looks gorgeous and wears a snappy jacket." "DH did pee next to Johnny Boden," panted an excited Bumperlicious, "but said he tried to ask him where the lift was mid-pee, which is apparently not The Done Thing." Policywonk divulged that Cod had appeared and given policy advice to the Prime Minister: "Apparently he said, 'How will I be able to contact you?', and she said, 'Think FISH, Gordon'."
That's not my online parenting forum: "... its tickers are too animated," declared MaMight. "That's not my online parenting forum: its language is too clean," snorted Poledra. "That's not my online parenting forum: no one's wearing Boden," gasped squeaver. "That's not my online parenting forum: fruitshoots are allowed!" shrieked LEMisdiscombobulated. "That's not my parenting forum: there are no mooncups," pouted piprabbit. "That's my online parenting forum!" rejoiced snigger. "It's past midnight and no-one's had supper."
Friday night is... Bible Study night with Cod: "If God had said, 'Do eat of the tree of knowledge: it's one of your 5 A Day!' then no fecker would have touched it." AitchTwoOhOneOh objected to the fact that Eve had been cursed with painful childbirth: "She was told that 'cos she ate AN APPLE she'd have to go through painful labour? Was God a member of the NCT, by any chance?" SuSylvester was bemused by the fig-leaf collection: "The MINUTE they ate they started stitching. There was a sewing basket there SOMEWHERE. Why?" "Once Eve had eaten of the tree she had knowledge," pointed out theologian Dumbledoresgirl, "and knew to nip to the haberdashery department of John Lewis for all her sewing requirements."
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion wanted to know about rubbish parties we'd attended: "My engagement party was awesome but it was almost ruined by my cousin who bit through several wine glasses." Rollergirl1 DH's ungallant cousin caused a wedding-reception rumpus by declaring that his brother's girlfriend "has to be a man with an Adam's apple like that", to which he received the ungentlemanly reply, "Well, look at the state of your hairy wife". "At my DS's seventh birthday a huge 4x4 reversed into the front of the Laserquest building," recalled Kamer. "All three emergency services were summoned to the scene although the party boys were oblivious and eating chicken nuggets." Redwhiteandblue recalled an unfortunate party attended by a squaddie friend: "He ate my plant and then got off with his own sister." Thank goodness he didn't win the Haiku competition.
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