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Talk Round-up
11 December 2009

It has been a cross week on Mumsnet and the Am I Being Unreasonable forum has been festering with festive rage: Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off with my xmas pressie from MIL? asked ungrateful crazybubbasmummy: "She chose a tracksuit two sizes too big." Mumsnetters consoled with tales of dreadful mother-in-law gifts from Christmases past. "MIL went through a phase of buying presents that involved water and electricity," frowned Jofins, while delphinedownunder received chocolates "that had been impounded at customs and opened up for inspection". Hohoholepew's MIL bought her a nightie: "At least 15' long, with long sleeves and a high ruffle neck. When I opened it, she said to DH, 'Well you won't be wanting her wearing that' with a smile on her face." Poor Upsy1981 was given the Ten Years Younger beauty book by her MIL: "I was 24 at the time."

Am I being unreasonable to expect Father Christmas to have a decent beard? asked an angry darcymum. "I don't expect them to all grow real ones, just get one that looks like it could possibly be real if you got a glimpse at the right angle on a dark night." Sub-standard Santas are unfortunately endemic, as JemL discovered this week: "To accompany his dodgy beard, he had eyebrows that were basically two oblongs of cut-out white paper." MmeLindt's Santa had even failed to find a decent pair of black boots: "DD asked why Santa had black bin bags on his feet." "Our local shopping centre has a VERY skinny Santa," complained ConnorTraceptive, "I refused to take DS on this basis - and the fact the elf was texting his mates."

SCargot was irked by extravagant displays of Francophilia in Waitrose: Am I being unreasonable to think using FRENCH Bags For Life is poncery? "What do French bags for life say?" asked GetOrfMoiLand. "Sac pour la vie?" "I thought it might be 'la sac de vie' in French, but then I thought that sounded uncomfortably similar to scrotal sac," frowned justaboutisfatandtired. "My fave bag for life is my Boots 'Gorgeous' cotton one," admitted SixtyFootDoll, "I really ponce around and flick my hair a lot when I use that one." All of which started Cakewench fretting about the complexity of correct shopping protocol: "As someone who never, ever thinks about what other people might think about her carrier bags, this thread is starting to make me paranoid."

Am I being unreasonable to wonder if it might be the end of the world? worried Ronaldinhio, after finding two starfish in her garden. "What if it's an alien?" "Is it alice?" asked ShutUpandDrink confusing everyone until she explained that she had mistyped 'alive'. "How do I tell if it is alive?" asked Ronaldinhio, "Hold a mirror over it to check for breathing?" "Waft a crabby patty under its nose," suggested ItsAllaBitNoisy. "Take it to the beach," advised AMumInScotland sensibly, although she cautioned: "You might try giving it a speech about how we are very welcoming to aliens in general, just to be on the safe side." "They would make fab Christmas decorations," suggested bramblebooks, "instead of sticking paper snowflakes to the window, you could just squidge them by the suckers." Or you could even wrap one up for your mother-in-law.

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