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Talk Round-up
30 October 2009

Another busy week on Mumsnet: faux pas of the week was identified by Aimsmum, who wasn't sure how to respond to the child at the Halloween disco dressed up as Osama bin Laden, waving a gun about: "DD thought he was an evil shepherd." Nasty medical disaster of the week goes to comewhinewithme, who set fire to her fanjo after failing to wash her hands in between applying Vick's vapour rub to her chest and sanitary protection to her nethers: "It burnt so much that for a second ringing an ambulance flashed across my mind." And confusing typo of the week goes to aspiring chef JamesAndTheGiantBanana, who wanted to know: Can I make pumpkin pie without a word processor?

Meanwhile, several hundred posts were clocked up in response to ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins' poser: Do you have a butter dish? Houseproud Octavia has "an everyday one and a crystal one", while stealthsquiggle is the proud owner of a thermostatically controlled electric butter dish and declared: "I wouldn't be without it." "I may ask my mum for one for Christmas," decided an excited Bumperlicioso, although predicting: "She is going to laugh at me, just as she did last week when I told her I was at my knitting group." Katisha was embarrassed to admit that following extensive Google research she had "come to the distressing conclusion that I am using my butter dish upside down".

What does your MUM keep buying you? asked SimonHowl, whose mum keeps arriving with thoughtful gifts of trays: "I don't know what I am supposed to use these for. Campari at 6pm?" "My Mum buys me plastic kitchen stuff from Betterware," tutted an ungrateful CybilWrites, "I'D RATHER HAVE THE CASH." Beachcomber's mother buys her replicas of any of her own wardrobe items that she admires, such as a recent scarf acquisition: "I have tried to wear it but DH refuses to go out with me 'dressed like your mother'." "My mum saves loads of leaflets, papers, freebie magazines and coupons," noted a baffled TspookyChasm. "It's like she thinks she's my only contact with the outside world and she must bring me information and news of it." MamaGoblin's mama went a step further, recently asking whether she'd archived said newspaper cuttings for future reference: "Um, yes, that would be the big green archive that we leave outside the front door every two weeks."

I have just dropped a pair of pants off my roof terrace into the garden downstairs, announced Lavenderfleurs, "what shall I do?" "If you don't retrieve them he might think you fancy him and are trying to lure him with lingerie," pointed out BalloonSlayer. "He may be, even as we type, sitting all hopeful, waiting for the matching bra." "What is the natural predator of the pant?" asked JustAnotherManicMummy. "If you can identify it, source it and attach it to a bit of elastic you could sort of bungee it over the side and then wrestle your pants from its jaws?" This all brought back stressful memories for thoughtful citizen ABetaDad, who once retrieved a selection of women's underwear from a country lane and kindly took them back to their owner: "As I stood there with knockers in hand a thought suddenly entered my head: 'What if the woman's husband answers the door?'" We think he meant knickers, although a literal reading would explain his terror of the husband...

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