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Talk Round-up
16 October 2009

Faux-pas-of-the-week award goes to Megglevache, who sent a round robin to the school PTA with the sender's name: S****Y WANTS TO B**G YOU: "DH and I always change our display options on our email for a laugh. I have to pick up my son in 20 minutes. Is there any way I can explain it?" "Get someone else to collect him," advised Disenchanted3, "then change school."  ProfessorLayton suggested a cunning plan to pretend her PC had been infected with a virus: "Or send another email from 'S****Y DOESN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO B**G YOU, SORRY FOR LEADING YOU ON'." But Riven just felt annoyed she was missing out on the fun: "I am clearly in the wrong PTA."

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed that DS's teacher told him that a spider is an insect? asked genus pedant pofacedandproud: "I have always told him a spider is not an insect but an arachnid, but today he came home and said: 'Mrs X told me that I could bring a spider to school as the letter this week is 'I' for insect'." "Even a totally uneducated person should be able to see from their own observations that a spider looks nothing like an insect," derided MillyR, while a helpful Disenchanted3 suggested: "Maybe your son should take a photo of his teacher in with 'I is for Ignoramus' written on it?" TheDevilEatsBabies shared the frustration: "An arachnid can't be an insect. Unless it has two of its legs chopped off its body and stuck onto its head with glue."

Aaargh, my baby is covered in cinnamon powder! wailed hobbgoblin, after attempting to give her baby a honey-and-milk bath and throwing in cinnamon powder for good measure: "We are going to the weighing clinic in half an hour and there is brown gunk in every crease. It won't rub or wash off." "What are you doing?" demanded claricebeansmum, "Bathing baby or cooking it?" "If it was Christmas, you could hang baby on the tree," suggested Ladyatron helpfully, while Disenchanted3 came up with an even better excuse: "Tell the health visitor that she is going to an early Halloween party as a strudel."

Calling all fainters, whimpered PumpkinsCantDance: "I once fainted at a First Aid course. I think people thought I was a plant." Fruitspooksbats' sister was always fainting at school: "The teachers would come and get me. I mean what the hell was I supposed to do about it? Carry her home over my shoulder?" "I fainted at guide camp whilst having a water-fight on top of a haystack," recalled unlucky andgodcreatedwoman, "I fell off and landed on an electric fence." Hester fainted at a recent work function that she was attending with her mother, and was so embarrassed she pretended to be out cold until the paramedics removed her: "But then came my mum's voice, rising like a trumpet above the hubbub: 'Oh, she does this ALL the time! Just give her a shake and she'll be fine!'" A tip to remember later, in case we're overcome by the Prime Minister on Mumsnet today.

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