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9 October 2009
Am I being unreasonable to stick a Farrow and Ball colour chart in the kitchen to help DH make my cups of tea properly? demanded ConFuschias: "The colour I like my tea is F&B Cord. But when DH makes it, it comes to me looking like a F&B House White. I tried to explain to him how to do it properly, with less milk, but he just ended up stewing it and adding so little milk it looked like F&B Dauphin." "Me and DH use Morph as a guideline for tea colour," admitted bitsnbobs, "I prefer Chad colour whilst he prefers Morph." Bettymum, on the other hand, was "just enjoying a mug of Pantone 16-1327". Others thought such exacting standards were a slippery slope: "What the hell is your sex life like?" gulped NestaFiesta. "Do you have a whiteboard and a pie chart in the bedroom?"
I had to wee in my lunchbox, confessed EccentricaGallumbits, "I was stuck in traffic. I emptied out my sandwiches and fruit. Should I bin the lunchbox or will a hot wash in the dishwasher suffice?" Gybegirl recalled the time she was heavily pregnant and resorted to relieving herself in a small beach bucket: "It was all going so well until I saw a police car stop next to me. I just had to smile and pretend I was some sort of 7ft-tall freak with my head touching the roof." Thedollshouse's aunty-in-law once went in her handbag on the motorway: "I have never quite seen her in the same light since." "I threw up in a box of Ferrero Rocher once!" squeaked cornsilk, joining in the fun.
Am I being unreasonable to let my son chase pigeons? asked mrsruffallo, unleashing a torrent of pigeon-fancier rage. "They have a right to eat without being terrorised for someone's entertainment," barked Miggsie, and tethersend agreed: "It's on a par with pulling the wings off insects!" Corriefan analysed their argument in more detail: "It is completely different to pulling the wings off a fly and to compare the two demonstrates a misunderstanding. For example, chasing a child is fun in an exciting way, pulling their arms off errrrr... isn't." LittleHarrysMum floated the possibility that pigeons enjoy being chased: "Perhaps they actually take bets on who can stay on the ground longest, as in 'who is the hardest pigeon'?"
Meanwhile, MNHQ are running the product test you've all been waiting for: the Philips Sensual Massager. "Rest assured all data is confidential," mumbled an embarrassed Carriemumsnet, in charge of recruiting 20 product testers. "ALL MUMS SHOULD BOYCOTT THIS DISGUSTING PRODUCT SURVEY," thundered Iklboo, "except me and the other first 19 to complete it." "We were so very good at toothbrush testing, let me do this one too!" begged mustrunmore, while EccentricaGallumbits was fascinated by the technical specification: "I'm intrigued by how the mood lights would work down there..." "Well, it's miles better than a Dyson, isn't it?" drooled an eager korma. And it'll be fun finding out if it can glide around corners.
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