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21 August 2009
Am I being unreasonable to be suspicious of a smell? worried suspiciousssss, who was suffering from pregnancy-induced Bloodhound Nose syndrome: "My bed smells of my friend. I have nothing to base anything suspicious on regarding what my DH did or did not do last night when I was away for a rare night. But without a shadow of a doubt, this smell is my friend's smell." Concerned MNers raillied round helpfully while the plot thickened with the admission: "It is a him." "Couldn't they just have got pissed and his mate crashed there?" suggested an optimistic LovelyTinOfSpam, before Suspiciousssss suddenly remembered that her mate had lent her DH his memory foam pillow a few days previously: "I just whiffed it. OMG it is horrendous!" "Well thank Christ for that," sighed LovelyTinOfSpam, perhaps unnecessarily pointing out that: "The gay sex with your mate while expecting second child would not have been a happy outcome." Crankytwanky agreed: "Now all you have to do is gently break it to your not-gay-and-sleeping-with-your-husband friend that he smells of dandruff, sweat and drool."
I wish DD's first autonomously written sentences were a bit more lovely sighed home-educator AnarchyAunt: "Yesterday DP had cause to tell her off and so she stomped into the kitchen, got out her paper and pens, and announced she was writing him a note. She wrote 'JOHN YOU ARE' and then said to me: 'Mummy, how do you spell CRAP?' Am I meant to show the LEA official a note saying: JOHN YOU ARE CRAP?" Slubberdegullion preened at a recent note from her DS: 'To Mummy. I stil fik ue ur fblish (I still think you are fabulous)' although admitted it was "given to me with Diana eyes and followed swiftly by a request for food." Meanwhile pagwatch was feeling a tad wary after her DD left the message: 'Are you looking at me?' scratched into the wood of her bedside table: "I am impressed by her understanding of iconic film dialogue but on some level I am a little scared."
Am I being unreasonable to not have confessed to throwing up in a pot plant in Homebase? asked a rather nauseous shineoncrazydiamond: "I felt gripped by the urge to throw up. In a panic, I walked quickly outside into their garden bit, and discreetly threw up into something tall and leafy in a terracotta pot. Do I phone the shop and confess and offer to pay?" "I would have used the toilet," huffed cocolepew. "Were you not near the bathroom display?" "It will have killed the plant," snapped AvrilH. "Puke is acid". Oneopinionatedmother tried to be optimistic: "If it's an azalea or rhododedron type thing, then they like acid soil." "I've done this - a miniature orchid," reminisced missmelly fondly. "It died."
This was the week of Daily Mailgate, after we discovered that the Daily Mail was running a weekly column of advice sucked from our very own talk boards: "We were, privately, a little surprised that they'd not consulted us" admitted JustineMumsnet before she disappeared on hols for two weeks, but promised that HQ would give the matter further consideration when everyone was back: "Please don't interpret any future periods of silence as us hiding under the bed, swigging from the bottle and hoping things go away". Some promised flouncing - although most couldn't resist coming back for more: "This thread is like my last pack of cigarettes" pledged an inhaling hazeyjane. SoupDragon felt that this week's focus on lunchboxes was sufficiently dull not to raise alarm: "You have nothing to worry about. It is as bland as a processed ham sandwich on white ready-sliced bread." StillSquiffy fretted that the column was too dull: "Jeez, instead of being frightened off the boards, I'm going to be embarrassed off them." Elsewhere rebel Mumsnetistas were adding 'thoughtful' comments to the Daily Mail feedback forum. "I feel really dirty having a DM registration" admitted Ninks but it wasn't long before "Xesmub" from "Davidtennantshire" was slipping through the Mail's moderator's fingers, declaring: "Us tax payers will end up funding these children's fussiness. As usual." Bad, bad MNers.
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