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Talk Round-up
24 July 2009

This week we were discussing bizarre conversations we have had with toddlers: GentleOtter asked her chocolate-covered toddler who had taken the last of the chocolate biscuits, only to be informed that "the biting rabbit took them". Ginny's daughter wondered: "How old will I be when I'm nine?" JustcallmeDog's daughter asked her: "Mummy, how did you grow your tummy so big and fat?" When informed that it was a little rude to use such terms, the question was politely rephrased as: "What I mean, mummy, is you are a very big girl, aren't you?" Sleepycat recalled the time her DD accompanied her to the family planning doctor and subsequently "looked worried" and asked: "Please can I have some of those pills? I don't want a baby yet."

A momentous day for verygreenlawn who received her dad's first-ever text: "icandothisnowbuthowdoileaveaspacedad." Laurielou's dad didn't quite get the principles of txt spk: "He used the number 1 to represent 1, I & l. It took me ages to work it out." GetOrfMoiCockroachCluster's long-winded partner texted her a phone number: "Six seven two five eight nine – sorry, I don't know where the numbers are." Metella's mum couldn't work out how to top up her phone "so she bought another one", while Surfermum's dad attempted to get credit for his mobile, but was confused when asked: "Is it Orange?" He politely informed the assistant: "No, it's black."

If the woman who has just dumped her husband's clothes on my doorstep is a Mumsnetter, asked Woolverine politely, "can you come and collect them please? You are very much mistaken." Poor Mr Woolverine answered the door to a furious woman who declared: "So you're the poor sap she's married to. You do know she's ****ing my husband. Well, she can have him." Dizzydixies wondered whether there might be some money to be had: "You could sell them on eBay and possibly make a little cash?" But nigglewiggle was fretting about the laundering aspect: "Have you ironed them yet?" Madwomanintheattic just felt sorry for the husband in question: "There's some poor naked guy at his mistress's pad trying to work out what she has done with his keks!"

For the first time, something happened that just made me think 'Mumsnet!' declared Rhubarb: "I was visiting a school and the kids in the form class were introducing themselves. You will never guess what one poor sod is called - let's just say that this poor kid has a hell of a lot to live up to!" Guesses came thick and fast: "Sportacus?" suggested PM73, while Mintyy plumped for "Jesus" or "Adolf". But poopscoop finally guessed: "Einstein - the poor sod was called Einstein. When his teacher called out his name, every teaching assistant in the room looked at him with utter sympathy." "No pressure there, then," noted BitOfFun. But UnquietDad didn't think it was too much of a problem: "It's all relative…"  If only his parents had consulted the new Mumsnet Baby Name Finder.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

PS We're taking a summer break from the Round-up – so enjoy the start of the summer holidays and I'll see you in two weeks!
 

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