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Talk Round-up
17 July 2009

Children's Furniture Company

 

Cranking up the piggy panic this week with tales of NHS woe from mumindisguise, who had contacted The Times' alphamummy about her nightmare getting swine flu treatment. It wasn't long before NHS Direct popped up like a defensive columnist's wife, chirping: "Hello everyone, we'd like the opportunity to respond to any questions you have." Spidermama was concerned that she was following NHS Direct on Twitter: "But your last update was three hours ago!" "Don't worry Spider," reassured MrJustAbout, "if it's urgent, they'll get to it in another nine." Whomovedmychocolate viewed the hoo-ha with scepticism: "Soooo the policy seems to be: post on Mumsnet, contact the media and then you'll get a call-back from NHS Direct."

Neighbours are complaining about bubbles from our bubble machine, wailed put-upon currymaid: "My neighbour collared me - she felt the bubbles from our bubble machine make the street look untidy. I put it on for our dog as she loves to chase the bubbles and it gives her a good workout." "I'd go and congratulate her," tutted ShowOfHands, "if this is all she has to worry about then she's very, very lucky indeed." "Tell her that if they're cluttering up her garden, to post them through your letterbox, or chuck them over your fence," suggested a helpful StealthPolarBear.

What's the funniest thing that's happened to you at the vets, asked flopsyrabbit, who had a tale or two from her life as a veterinary nurse: "I was at the surgery when the phone rang and a frazzled vet answered it, 'Penham nudist colony, can I help you?'" Moosemama recounted taking her Big Dog for his annual jabs: "The vet was absolutely shaking from head to toe and could barely touch the dog. When we went out to the vet nurse to pay, she said, 'Oh yes, he'll be fine, he's just frightened of dogs!'" Othersideofthefence made the mistake of donning a wraparound skirt when taking her dog to the vets: "As the (handsome young) vet started to examine her, the dog panicked and tried to hide behind me - and removed my skirt." Slubberdegullion recalled a childhood memory of her veterinary father using his car to transport a bagged-up dead dog for incineration, which horrified a troupe of her Brownie friends who travelled in the car later in the day: "My mate thought she was resting on a bean bag." "I took our dog with a worrying lump," confessed red-faced CountessDracula. "She was diagnosed with 'having a tummy button'."

Dozens of Mumsnetters rushed out to bulk-buy sacks of soya wax after domestic goddess LaurieFairyCake wowed us with a craft workshop on home-made posh candles: "My home smells lovely. Guess what everyone is getting for Christmas this year?" The craft corner wasn't the only place for festive chat this week, as yuletide fan shinyshoes wanted to know whether anyone else had started getting ready for Christmas: "I am thinking of the Christmas menu already and have created a shortlist of starters and mains." "Both DC's stockings are done," trilled uber-organised WynkenBlynkenandNod, "I have a spreadsheet and I know that I have spent £94.88." "I've put my tree up," trumped notwavingjustironing, while Hassled claimed: "My Brussels sprouts are already on a gentle simmer."

A bit of a bar brawl erupted when a row on Bounty spilled out across the internet, prompted by Twims' post OMG first experience of bounty OMFG: "They're all so young and chavvy!" Lots of old-lady Mumsnetters hastily gave her a proper ticking off for being horrid about other forums, but it wasn't long before the good burghers of Bounty bounded in, all guns blazing. "dont be dissing bounty!!!" screeched an indignant tricksta09. "In MY ONINION ur the ejjit!!!!!" "What an unseemly display," tutted hunkermunker, while TAFKAtheUrbanDryad was overcome with txtaphobia: "ARGH! The txt spk! It HURTS!" Bountyhun newmumjo was incensed: "God you really are a load of stuck up, sarcastic self richious load of b!tches arent you! God who the hell made you all so fcuking high and mightey?" "Am I drunk?" asked ExpositionDesMains. "This thread seems to be in English but I understand not a word of it." Newmumjo exploded with rage: "FUCKiNG HELL WHO ARE YOU!! THE GRAMMER POLICE!!" ExpositionDesMains thought this a fair cop: "THE GRAMMER POLICE. FOR ALL YOU'RE SPELLIN NEED'S."

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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