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Talk Round-up
10 July 2009

Children's Furniture Company

Much swooning this week prompted by our live webchat with dyslexia champ Henry Winkler. "If I hadn't had them already, I would want YOU to father my babies," shrieked hysterical Fonz fan HuwEdwards (age 46), while FrannyandZooey just ran around screaming uncontrollably. LeninGrad was more composed: "I wanted to be the Fonz, as any self-respecting baby-dyke would; all those girls cooing, the clothes, the bike, the Mums fawning. Bliss!" HenryWinkler proved to be still as cool as ever: "I'm here because I thought it would be a lot of fun and interesting for us to chat together." "Gosh, this is exciting," squealed AitchTwoOh, "if we get Brian Cant on now I'll die happy." "Oh good grief," spluttered ReallyReally, "you have the king of cool here and you start wittering on about Brian Cant!"

Guess what Tesco.com thought would be a suitable substitution for the bottle of Jacob's Creek Chardonnay I ordered last night, humphed PuppyMonkey: "A loaf of Hovis White Bread. White wine... white bread? Is that the logic do you think?" "Maybe they thought you could comfort eat to cheer yourself up about no wine," suggested TheArmadillo. "Last year they substituted my haggis with a tin of shortbread," recalled Saltire grumpily, "the reasoning behind this was 'well, they are both Scottish'." "Mmmm, lovely," drooled FlappyTheBat, "shortbread, neeps and tatties!"

What's the funniest or dumbest thing your GP has said to you, asked Jacksmama, somewhat miffed after visiting her GP about incontinence isshoos and receiving the cheery advice: "You and the baby could both wear nappies!" 2gorgeousboys did not appreciate being told: "If you were a dog you would have been put down by now!" And whomovedmychocolate was not reassured by her GP admitting: "I've never heard of that - hang on a sec while I Google it." Tearinghairout was flattered to be told: "You've got the most beautiful eardrums I've ever seen." But Scorpette was not really sure how to respond when informed: "Ooooh, you have a really pretty cervix! Shame you can't show it off!" Poor JoesMummy09 went to a physiotherapist for neck problems only to be told: "Your neck's too long. There's nothing I can do." "My ex went to see his GP about a mole on his shoulder," snurked whoingodsnameami, "the GP said it was fine, but to be careful his bra strap didn't rub it."

Hopefully, you'll be reading this Talk Round-up just before you plunge into our crafty Friday webchat with Doodle Do presenter Chris Corcoran. Chris is touring the country with crafty ideas for children, which excited LivingLaVidaLurker2: "I wonder whether you would be willing to do your doodle-do round these parts? I have glue and feathers if that helps." "I make my children watch Doodle Do even though they are too old," confessed shameless notwavingjustironing. AitchTwoOh phwoared: "He's top of my list of children's TV presenters I'd doodle-do." "What's the most rubbish make you've done so far?" asked ruddynorah supportively. "I'd have to say the babywipe-with-a-peg butterflies were pretty shite." FenellaFudge tried hard to concentrate: "I will be back with a question as soon as I can figure out how to change the following statement, 'I love you. And your accent. And your big, chunky, manly arms', into question form." "I wonder if our mums felt this way about Tony Hart?" pondered LivingLaVidaLurker2. I expect they were too busy drooling over Brian Cant.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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