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Talk Round-up
12 June 2009

Hush Puppies

Bumperlicioso wanted to know things you never thought you would hear yourself say before having children after hearing a mother shout: "Don't worry darling, you can be the skunk!" Toilet-training rumdoodle admitted to feeling 'like a midwife' when she exhorted her DS to "just PUSH", while tots2ten confessed to begging her DD: "Please do not come off the potty until you put treasure in there for me." "Get OFF my nipple!" is a frequent cry chez CharCharGabor, while Wonderstuff barks: "No boob until bedtime."

Am I being unreasonable to think that people should be able to sit in their garden without having to listen to other people's music demanded a very crabby fufflebum: "Why I should have to put up with what feels like noise pollution!?" "YABU. I have to listen to my neighbours having noisy sex when it's a sunny Sunday afternoon. I'd much rather hear the radio," responded chipmunk1. "Although my 20-month DS did give them a cheer and a round of applause when they finished." Picmaestress lost the plot when she was forced to listen to the rehearsals of her neighbour's son's death metal band: "I went and pointed out to them (very nicely and politely) that it was INSANE. They couldn't actually hear what I was saying at first." While mistlethrush happily discovered an innovative solution to the problem one afternoon last summer: "I joined in. It went quite high. So did I. Fairly loudly. Both of their dogs started barking frantically and a joking comment came through the hedge that I frightened the dogs. But to this day I've not heard the music on at even half the volume."

DD has two imaginary friends: Alex who goes to school and waters plants, and the elephant who has no name but eats gravel, sighed ShowOfHands. "I was not prepared for this. I thought we had a couple of years' grace before I had to start taking an extra banana with us for the elephant that lives in the bloody apple tree." Lissielou's DS has an imaginary chum called Ben: "I have to hold Ben's hand, tell him off if he messes about near the road, stop people sitting on him and kiss him goodnight." And llareggub"s nephew "has a ghost friend called George that he found in a skip".

I am a bad unreasonable wife, confessed psychomum5, after whacking her DH over the head while having a terrible dream, although in her defence her slumbering DH often demands: "Get off the f**kin' scaffold." SoupDragon's cupcake of a DH once shook her awake to shout "Bunting!" before he laid back down, fast asleep. Weegle recalled the time she was dieting and traumatised her sleeping DH by shouting: "The pizza, the pizza, DO NOT eat the pizza or I will KILL you." OrmIrian's Dad started climbing up the wall at the back of the bed 'to get away from the floods', "using my mother's face as a foothold". "My DH once said 'One donkey, two donkey, three donkey, four donkey'," recalled pooter, "so I laughingly said 'Five donkey?' to which he replied 'No, don't be silly'. So I pushed my luck and said 'Six donkey?' and he got really cross with me and said 'Now you are just taking the piss!' and went back to sleep." She noted: "We sleep in separate rooms now."

Rookie error of the week goes to davidbowie, who posted Am I being unreasonable to think some people on netmums should be polite? "I've been reading a lot of the threads and quite often people are outrageously rude to each other. It's a shame when a post which could lead to a very good debate ends up with people swearing at each other." Ninkynork was horrified: "YABVVVU to call this "Netmums'." No boob until bedtime for you.

MORNINGPAPER XXX

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