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Talk Round-up
29 May 2009

My Wardrobe

Much culinary horror this week, kicking off with Mintyy asking us for terrible recipes we concocted in our student days. She admitted to a signature dish of: "Smash with crumbled beef Oxo cubes mixed in, topped with grated cheese and grilled." "Peas on toast," confessed kitbit, while HoochieMooMa regretted "Weetabix with tuna on top". But othersideofthefence realised she and her flatmates weren't cooking enough "when the pizza delivery man turned up with a new lightbulb for us - the one in the hall had blown and he was fed up of not being able to see when we paid him".

Am I wrong to wash chicken? asked Luvoneson. "My husband refuses to wash chicken as he says you don't need to. This makes me hysterical. I always wash it in a 'special chicken washing' bowl." The consensus was that washing chicken was salmonella-spreading madness, but there was still fun to be had at the expense of the OP. "A special chicken washing bowl?" guffawed Smac. "You didn't even blush when you wrote that!" But jumpingbeans recalled her own poultry-washing days of yore: "I used to wash mine, pat it dry with kitchen roll, then pick it up by its wings, let its legs dangle, and 'dance' it across the worktop... this was before anything was known about 'germs'."

Ooh I have just made a Flappy cake, squealed an excited NationalFlight, flaunting step-by-step pictures of her DS's bat birthday cake on her profile. "OMG I looked at the top picture and thought you had made chocolate vulva cake," gasped FrannyandZooey. Fishie agreed there was a certain likeness: "It is a lovely bat but an utterly marvellous vulva." "Vulvas do not have TEETH," objected a worried NationalFlight, reassuring us, "I have until Sunday to ensure it does not look like a fanjo." "You know, I am not sure of the wisdom of calling it a flappy cake," pondered FrannyandZooey.

Colin died, announced a very sober Blondeshavemorefun, posting a photograph of the deceased carefully wrapped in a Waitrose carrier bag, fortunately adding: "He was our catfish." "I thought Colin was your DH!" admonished LolaTheShowgirl, while KingCanuteIAm tutted: "I expected a 'before' picture." Whooosh sympathised, having recently mourned the loss of Jim the hamster: "Incidentally, he ended up in the fridge for a couple of days, buried this morning, in a beautiful coffin, with full four-year-old honours and lollystick cross." But added: "I suspect Colin went in the bin?" Meow.

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